RoseNadler
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Post by RoseNadler on Feb 18, 2022 6:19:08 GMT -8
I’ve been coming here and working this program and CoDA for three years—but I believe we will never come to a time in our lives when we’re perfectly “cured” and healthy all the time.
This morning I just had my first (small) anxiety meltdown in a LONG time. Cried, prayed frantically to HP….I have to work today, but luckily I WFH and I can take a walk outside during the day, maybe listen to some Louise L. Hay audios. And if I really, really need it, I do have medication for anxiety.
I’m pretty quiet, but even I need to speak up occasionally.
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Post by Susan Peabody on Feb 18, 2022 8:58:10 GMT -8
I’ve been coming here and working this program and CoDA for three years—but I believe we will never come to a time in our lives when we’re perfectly “cured” and healthy all the time. This morning I just had my first (small) anxiety meltdown in a LONG time. Cried, prayed frantically to HP….I have to work today, but luckily I WFH and I can take a walk outside during the day, maybe listen to some Louise L. Hay audios. And if I really, really need it, I do have medication for anxiety. I’m pretty quiet, but even I need to speak up occasionally. My heart goes out to you Rose. You are such an inspiration to us all. I agree that the best we can do is remission. I have flareups all the time and I had a slip 14 years ago which still bothers me. But I am still in recovery and believe in progress not perfection. A flareup is the reoccurrence of love addiction emotions. A slip is acting on that flareup in an addictive way. A relapse is leaving the program of recovery. |
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RoseNadler
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Post by RoseNadler on Feb 19, 2022 10:41:37 GMT -8
One thing I feel good about: the anxiety meltdown did not cause me to act out with LA. I didn’t look to flattery from men to comfort myself. I also didn’t overwhelm my partner with requests for reassurance.
I’ll probably have to deal with an anxiety disorder for the rest of my life. But addictions are not a good way to do that!
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RoseNadler
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Post by RoseNadler on Feb 21, 2022 8:33:35 GMT -8
OK, maybe it wasn’t just for one day. I’m anxious AGAIN.
I wonder if I’m more vulnerable at this time of year? It was February and March three years ago that I had my worst period of anxiety ever. Maybe the changes in light and temperature are triggering me? The holidays that occur this time of year (V Day, and my partner’s birthday this Saturday.)
Maybe job stress is making it worse?
I do have ways to cope — go for a walk, listen to self-hypnosis audios, listen to Louise L. Hay audios, knit, journal, make some art. And Ativan is there if I need it. I need to remind myself that taking medicine a doctor prescribed to me for a specific need — when that need arises — is NOT drug misuse.
Anyway, Ativan won’t give me a hangover, which alcohol might do. I don’t even want to drink.
My Inner Child wants her mom.
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Post by Susan Peabody on Feb 21, 2022 14:16:54 GMT -8
My heart goes out to you. I found that human surrogate moms are unreliable, like mine was, so I let my Higher Power pinch hit for my real mom and all the poor people that I tried to get to adopt Susie. If I were your mom, I would say, "I love you; I adore you; I am sorry you are in pain; Let's go out and have some fun when you are feeling better. I am always here for you; remember that always." Mom Attachments:
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RoseNadler
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Post by RoseNadler on Feb 22, 2022 6:59:49 GMT -8
Thank you, Susan.
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RoseNadler
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Post by RoseNadler on Mar 2, 2022 7:37:58 GMT -8
And, again.
I just got through an episode of anxiety…and then Putin started his c r a p in Ukraine.
I know I’m anxious about the state of the world right now (Putin, COVID; needing to tighten my budget.) I am begging my Higher Power to NOT allow me to push that anxiety into my relationship with L (long-term partner.)
It’s like, every time I get anxious about something other than my love life (world affairs, work, etc.) the addictive part of my mind tries to make the anxiety be about my love life. What’s up with that?
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