Post by learningisajourney on Feb 28, 2022 6:47:04 GMT -8
Does anyone else here have experience recovering from sex and love addiction that involves compulsive behavior on dating sites. I am 24-year-old man that has been in this whole love addiction cycle from high school. For years, myself has been plagued by the compulsive need to find a relationship, and in my youth, compulsive masturbation was used as a means of coping for serious school bullying and father’s alcoholism. In my youth, it was really hard for me to from relationships with the opposite sex and only after the age of 20 did I dare to take the initiative and date (age 25). Naturally after the age of 18, plethora of dating apps in a excessive rate became a refuge place for me, where you could find potential partner candidates if you could not / did not dare to act live.
Now, for about half a year, I have taken my addiction seriously and am trying to live without compulsive exploration. It’s challenging to even think about what’s normal about my true, healthy longing for a partner and what’s obsessive. In any case, the urgency and emergency state arising from addiction in situations (quick interpretations of situations, conclusions, strong feelings from side to side) and the tendency to over-control one’s own actions produce constant headaches. On the bright side, I have different circles where I can get to know ppl I.E. there are people in hobbies to get to know and social ability to work with people, but the long dark evenings in the student apartment are full of pain. It is very anxiety provoking for me to be without sites that gave me a sense of shelter from my state of emergency.
I know that recovering from addiction requires a “day-by-day” mentality, good basic routines (eating, sleeping, and exercising) and controlling one’s mind lost in the shadows, for example, through various means of relaxation. These work really well at best and if a day has “flesh around the bones” in the day, the mind is relatively balanced or very optimistic about recovery, these days usually involve playing team sports. On the flip side of the coin on bad days, it feels like my recently goal of being without apps for 3 months feels like an impossible task.
It seems that this is journey where you, on the one hand learn away from yourbad habits, but at the same time deal with your deep emotional/psychological problems: my experiences of distress and urgency in my flesh and bones and also dealing with the root cause of urgency that comes from my own negative beliefs. The poorness of my sexual self-image rises from the humiliations of youth and many of those lies I have been able overcome and realize, but the impact on one’s own everyday reality has not yet changed.
Feel free to share your views on your own recovery, it would be great to hear from and talk to with people who have had the same problem. I am attend a male sex addict program, but I would benefit from love addict`s perspective.
Cheers!
Now, for about half a year, I have taken my addiction seriously and am trying to live without compulsive exploration. It’s challenging to even think about what’s normal about my true, healthy longing for a partner and what’s obsessive. In any case, the urgency and emergency state arising from addiction in situations (quick interpretations of situations, conclusions, strong feelings from side to side) and the tendency to over-control one’s own actions produce constant headaches. On the bright side, I have different circles where I can get to know ppl I.E. there are people in hobbies to get to know and social ability to work with people, but the long dark evenings in the student apartment are full of pain. It is very anxiety provoking for me to be without sites that gave me a sense of shelter from my state of emergency.
I know that recovering from addiction requires a “day-by-day” mentality, good basic routines (eating, sleeping, and exercising) and controlling one’s mind lost in the shadows, for example, through various means of relaxation. These work really well at best and if a day has “flesh around the bones” in the day, the mind is relatively balanced or very optimistic about recovery, these days usually involve playing team sports. On the flip side of the coin on bad days, it feels like my recently goal of being without apps for 3 months feels like an impossible task.
It seems that this is journey where you, on the one hand learn away from yourbad habits, but at the same time deal with your deep emotional/psychological problems: my experiences of distress and urgency in my flesh and bones and also dealing with the root cause of urgency that comes from my own negative beliefs. The poorness of my sexual self-image rises from the humiliations of youth and many of those lies I have been able overcome and realize, but the impact on one’s own everyday reality has not yet changed.
Feel free to share your views on your own recovery, it would be great to hear from and talk to with people who have had the same problem. I am attend a male sex addict program, but I would benefit from love addict`s perspective.
Cheers!
