Post by Susan Peabody on Apr 22, 2022 8:10:38 GMT -8
I have chronic cluster headaches and it is depressing me. I fantasize about relief all the time. In modern times people want to be exempt from suffering. In the past, it has been accepted as a way of life. I have moments of self-pity which is not normal for me. As the headaches get worse, I get more depressed. My friend Shirley is praying for me and in her two-way prayer she heard from God that I will eventually be released from the pain. Meanwhile, I am seeking help from doctors and from God. I also need prayers which is why I am writing this. Thank you. Susan
Post by Susan Peabody on Apr 22, 2022 10:57:06 GMT -8
My first 12-Step meeting was a beginner's meeting of Overeaters' Anonymous. It was a Wednesday evening on what I think was November 7, 1982. I will never forget that night because I had my first of several spiritual awakenings. The speaker was telling us that in OA we would have to learn to reach out for help. My ego rebelled and I said to myself, "I will never reach out for help. I can take care of myself." Later in the meeting I was overwhelmed by the Holy Spirit, who told me through my intuition that I was finally home after a long and arduous journey of pain and suffering. This was my first spiritual awakening. I felt elevated. I felt excited. I felt willing to come back. I became willing to ask for help. I took the first step right there and then.
Fast forward to this morning. I was depressed and wanted to drink. I went to an AA meeting and asked for help. The host tried to get me to stop talking, but after the meeting a man named John sent me a text and said he wanted to help me get out of the house. So, we arranged to get together next week. To make a long story short, God is truly there for us, when we reach out.
Post by Susan Peabody on Jun 4, 2022 10:43:25 GMT -8
Is love addiction a disorder or, as one of the members said, mis-information? Love addiction is a disorder. According to John Bradshaw it is a "thinking disorder." According to Robin Norwood it is disorder because it is progressive, there is no cure (just remission) and it is life-threatening. We know this because one of our esteemed members just took her own life.
Are labels helpful or harmful? There is great disagreement on this. When I identified myself as a "woman who loved to much," I was thrilled to finally know what was wrong with me. It was liberating. I could now seek out a solution because I was not alone. I have been ill for sometime with a neurological disorder and I finally got my diagnosis last week. Now the doctor knows how to treat it. I think labels are helpful.
Thank you Susan, you are the life force of this fellowship and LAA needs you, your wisdom, longevity, experience, strength, hope in all that you share in your honesty and kindness as you painfully grow in your own recovery 💛🌻💛
Last Edit: Jun 19, 2022 15:25:45 GMT -8 by Shirley C.
Dear Susannah, I pray for you. One of my best friends suffers from chronic cluster just like you so I know what you are talking about. Be strong! You have been a great help to me! I love the way you dare to openly speak about your experiences! It has inspired me to do the same. I have been shamed into silence in the past and it has made me very ill. I refuse to do that anymore. The truth shall set us all free ! Namaste and may peace be with you !
Post by Susan Peabody on Jun 17, 2022 18:42:34 GMT -8
I am so sad today because I was not invited to my granddaughter's college graduation. I had a good cry. At the same time, when God closes a door, he opens a window and Shirley is flying in from Scotland next week to see me.
When I identified myself as a "woman who loved too much," I was thrilled to finally know what was wrong with me. It was liberating. I could now seek out a solution because I was not alone.
Susan, I totally relate to this. I have picked up every self-help book I know, and until finding Norwood's book, I couldn't put a name (label) on it. I read, Codependent No More, but that didn't help me. I read every Eckart Tolle book, Alan Watts, people I've never heard of, the book Happy for No Reason, sought counselors, and have tried tapping and everything else under the sun.
It seems that knowing that I have a love addiction, that it is a direct correlation to childhood, connecting my parents to my issues, and realizing that this is something I wasn't even aware of but now can do something about...has given me some knowledge, some personal/ emotional freedom, some work to do, and a goal on which to focus. I feel like I have some control now, a reason to have boundaries, and just enough "shame" to propel me forward to change. Also, I do realize this will be recovery I have to "do" for the rest of my life. I can't ever think I am "cured" but always in recovery.
Post by Susan Peabody on Jun 20, 2022 7:33:55 GMT -8
This too shall pass . . .
This is true. After a weekend of mourning my granddaughter, today is Monday and a new beginning. I choose to move away from the past after feeling the pain without self-medicating. I have to let my granddaughter go. It is in God's hands. She will either reach out to me in the future or not. The "wreckage of the past," is just that. There is nothing I can do about it. I have made my amends and that is all I can do except pray and then end my prayer with, "Thy will be done." Sigh . . .