Typical Kinds of Love Addicts

"Typical Kinds of Love Addicts" was introduced in 2004 by Susan Peabody at a workshop in Oakland, California. It was part of her personal perspective about love addiction. At the end of the workshop, Susan asked Howard G. to help her turn her "Women Who Love Too Much" meetings into Love Addicts Anonymous. "Typical Kinds of Love Addicts," was their first piece of literature approved by the subsequent business meeting. It is now accepted worldwide as the seminal work on how many different kinds of love addicts there are. It was written to help love addicts break down a large problem (love addiction) into to manageable pieces. The more you know about the problem, the closer you get to the solution.

In the last decade, a lot has changed in the world of love addiction. Not that love addiction itself has changed. It is pretty much the same insidious disorder it always has been. What has changed is how the world looks at it. Twenty years ago, our understanding of love addiction was still emerging out of our understanding of codependency. Therefore, love addiction and codependency seemed to be one in the same. However, today we understand that this is not true. Love addiction stands alone and differs from codependency in many ways.

Obsessed Love Addicts (OLAs) cannot let go, even if their partners are:

▪ Unavailable emotionally or sexually
▪ Afraid to commit
▪ Cannot communicate
▪ Unloving
▪ Distant
▪ Abusive
▪ Controlling and dictatorial
▪ Ego-centric and selfish
▪ Addicted to something outside the relationship (hobbies, drugs, alcohol, sex, someone else, gambling, shopping etc.)

Codependent Love Addicts (CLAs) are the most widely recognized. They want to fix people who are damaged. They are loyal at the expense of themselves. They will suffer rather than let go. They feel guilty when they need to leave their partner. They are caretakers and providers.

Ambivalent Love Addicts desperately crave love, but at the same time they are terrified of emotional intimacy so they usually obsess about someone who is unavailable or inappropriate.

Torch Bearers obsess about someone who is unavailable for years. This can be done without acting out (suffering in silence) or by pursuing the person they are in love with. This kind of addiction feeds on fantasies and illusions. It is also known as unrequited love.

Romance Addicts are addicted to multiple partners. Unlike sex addicts, who are trying to avoid bonding altogether, romance addicts bond with each of their partners—to one degree or another—even if the romantic liaisons are short-lived or happening simultaneously.

Switch-Hitting: You may find that you have more than one type of love addiction. Many of these types overlap. For instance, you may be a codependent for years and then become a love addict. Or a love/romance addict. The important thing is to identify your own personal profile so you know what you are. This will aid you in your recovery.

Cross Addiction: Many love addicts have more than one addiction: Love, romance, fantasies, relationships, alcohol, drugs, food, etc. All of these must be treated as you treat your love addiciton.

Original Wound: The core issue for all love addicts is separation anxiety. Once love addicts fall in love or bond with someone, they will do anything to hold on. They will often engage in risky behavior that can lead to health problems—even death. But do not be discouraged. In Love Addicts Anonymous you will find help and a brighter tomorrow.