Post by RoseNadler on Oct 12, 2023 8:05:38 GMT -8
The addiction will never totally go away. Even when you’re in remission, you have to be careful.
I’m in a bad place right now. I soak up my partner’s emotions like a sponge, and every time he’s down or in a bad mood, it lowers my mood. I start feeling afraid that he’s in a bad mood because of me, and I’m about to be dumped. No doubt this comes from childhood. I was always very aware of my parents’ moods.
I feel needy and want reassurance, and I’m trying t find a healthy way to deal with it. I think the best thing to do would be to take some melatonin, go to bed, and sleep through the bad time. But I’m not allowed to do that; I have to stay awake.
So, I’m sitting trying to allow my feelings to be there without trying to deny them or make them go away—but also, not ruminate and brood and get stuck in them. I’m trying not to inflict my mood on other people, but it’s impossible to smile and be light-hearted; “not unpleasant” is the best I can do.
And on the outside, things in my life look good.
One thing that happened that was bad and hurt both of us: Three weeks ago, our cat died. We’re both still grieving.
I’m just remembering—the last time a similar situation occurred, I handled all wrong; I completely f v c k e d up. I’m trying so hard to do things right this time and not make any more messes.
I’m in a bad place right now. I soak up my partner’s emotions like a sponge, and every time he’s down or in a bad mood, it lowers my mood. I start feeling afraid that he’s in a bad mood because of me, and I’m about to be dumped. No doubt this comes from childhood. I was always very aware of my parents’ moods.
I feel needy and want reassurance, and I’m trying t find a healthy way to deal with it. I think the best thing to do would be to take some melatonin, go to bed, and sleep through the bad time. But I’m not allowed to do that; I have to stay awake.
So, I’m sitting trying to allow my feelings to be there without trying to deny them or make them go away—but also, not ruminate and brood and get stuck in them. I’m trying not to inflict my mood on other people, but it’s impossible to smile and be light-hearted; “not unpleasant” is the best I can do.
And on the outside, things in my life look good.
One thing that happened that was bad and hurt both of us: Three weeks ago, our cat died. We’re both still grieving.
I’m just remembering—the last time a similar situation occurred, I handled all wrong; I completely f v c k e d up. I’m trying so hard to do things right this time and not make any more messes.
