The Origins of Anger

When children feel unloved and do not get the attention they need to survive, they sometimes blame themselves. Other times they get angry. This anger can stay with them even after they grow up. It can ruin their lives. Most men in prison are there because of their anger at society.

I was one of those who got angry at those who bullied me in school and then carried that anger into adulthood. Even in recovery, my anger sometimes rises up from my unconscious and takes over my behavior. Because I am aware of this, I have worked very hard to control it.

I believe that controlling our anger is not enough. We must also go back to where it began or what I call the scene of the crime. Once there we must process our anger by feeling the fear that caused it in the first place. Angry children are really just afraid of not getting enough love and attention to survive. Anger is a cry for help and a coping mechanism which acts as a release valve.

Processing Underlying Issues

Admit that you have an anger problem.
Talk about it with an enlightened witness.
Write about it.
Feel the underlying fear without self-medicating.
Accept what happened.
Forgive if necessary
Look at the bright side.
Move on.