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Post by Susan Peabody on Jun 28, 2010 17:02:16 GMT -8
Step 1 in a 12-Step program: Admitted that we are powerless . . .
Then we surrender to the Holy Spirit who has the power to heal us in his time and in her way.
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Post by Susan Peabody on Jun 28, 2010 18:09:32 GMT -8
I called my pastor and we prayed over the phone. I was suddenly relieved of my pain.
PRAYER REALLY WORKS . . . always remember that.
In the beginning . . . J.C. held me close. He has not gone anywhere.
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Post by Susan Peabody on Jun 29, 2010 13:44:49 GMT -8
I have always been grateful that I was an alcoholic because there are thousands of AA meetings all over the world. I can get out of the house any time and have somewhere to go. Yes, after 27 years, I get bored sometimes, but that is few and far between.
Thank you God for the things that take the edge off.
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Post by Susan Peabody on Jun 29, 2010 19:36:48 GMT -8
Every housewife has a recipe with one secret ingredient. At least on television.
I have a secret ingredient in my recipe for life. I learned this while attending AA meetings. The ingredient is "acceptance."
From the book Alcoholics Anonymous. . .
"And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation—some fact of my life—unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment."
I cannot see my girls. I accept this today. What do I get out of this. Peace of mind.
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Post by Susan Peabody on Jul 1, 2010 12:19:50 GMT -8
Helen Lemmel’s simple song has it right:
O soul, are you weary and troubled? No light in the darkness you see? There's light for a look at the Savior And life more abundant and free!
Thro' death into life everlasting He passed, and we follow Him there; Over us sin no more hath dominion- For more than conq'rors we are!
His word shall not fail you-He promised; Believe him, and all will be well; Then go to a world that is dying, His perfect salvation to tell!
Chorus: Turn your eyes upon Jesus, Look full in His wonderful face, And the things of earth will grow strangely dim In the light of his glory and grace.
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Post by Susan Peabody on Jul 1, 2010 12:28:57 GMT -8
If "acceptance" were a pool, I would be mesmerized. It is all that I think about right now.
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Post by Susan Peabody on Jul 1, 2010 14:32:26 GMT -8
Kathy and Jasmyne being reunited . . .
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Post by Susan Peabody on Jul 1, 2010 14:35:01 GMT -8
Light at the end of the tunnel . . .
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Post by Susan Peabody on Jul 1, 2010 14:39:15 GMT -8
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Post by Susan Peabody on Jul 1, 2010 14:51:38 GMT -8
I have been a faithful member of Alcoholics Anonymous for 28 years. I stopped going a year ago because I violated a cardinal rule: "Don't let personalities get it the way of the program." Put another way, don't leave AA because of a personality conflict. You can change meetings but not abandon the program.
Anyway, I went back today and got a lot of hugs and condolences. It was wonderful. I felt as if I had come home.
I have talked a lot about 12-Step programs over the years. I even started one. But I have never admitted the most important thing. God used AA to give me my life back starting with introducing him/her self to me in the middle of an AA meeting. (See my book for this story.)
So . . . my spirits have lifted up like the wheels of an airplane about to take off. Let's see if we can get this baby off the ground.
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Post by Susan Peabody on Jul 1, 2010 14:56:17 GMT -8
God has taken the edge off today. I am not as suicidal.
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Post by Susan Peabody on Jul 1, 2010 14:58:21 GMT -8
Feelings are like waves . . .
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Post by Susan Peabody on Jul 1, 2010 14:59:25 GMT -8
Feelings are like roller coasters . . .
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Post by Susan Peabody on Jul 1, 2010 17:11:35 GMT -8
As a child I loved Rogers and Hammerstein . . .
"When you walk through a storm hold your head of high and don't be afraid of the dark. At the end of the storm, there's a golden sky and the sweet silver song of the lark"
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Post by Susan Peabody on Jul 4, 2010 16:03:13 GMT -8
Universal Woman
Dedicated to Kathy
_____
Daughter of woman, Mother of woman, You are the link Between past and future.
Woman alone, Woman among many, Seek out the truth Of your own identity.
Child of God, Sister of mankind, Let not your mourning body Deter you from your quest.
Nameless soul, Wandering in a timeless maze, Be not afraid Of your new beginnings.
Universal woman, Smiled upon by all, Your wounds will be healed And you will stride proudly forth.
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Post by Susan Peabody on Jul 30, 2010 14:04:34 GMT -8
The things I cannot change . . .
The past Other people Acts of nature Accidents Illness
The things I can change . . .
Me (how I think and act)
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Post by Susan Peabody on Jul 31, 2010 15:56:55 GMT -8
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Post by mybestme on Aug 1, 2010 4:02:04 GMT -8
Hugs Susan. You are so strong. So much going on and you find your way through with your HP. I admire you and am very thankful that you are on this Earth. Your are a gift. I hope Monty can appreciate this. One day, when the girls need a strong woman to help them out with relationship issues, you will be there. Your time to be with them and to be there for them will come. Trust in your HP. MBM
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Post by Susan Peabody on Sept 15, 2010 14:49:17 GMT -8
A beautiful poem from my son Karl on my sixty second birthday . . .
The Angel of Motherhood
Karl McKnight
To weary arms, to forgotten psalms, God's loving Angel gently comes: No power has she to make us fly, Or always wipe the tears we cry; And yet in tenderest love, mommy dear And Heavenly Savior sends her here.
There's mercy in that Angel's smile, Where faith abides all the while! She mocks no pain with idle word Nor discourage the flight of the fledgling bird; But ills and woes she may not cure She kindly trains us to endure.
Angel of Motherhood! sent to nurture Our laden shoulders with cooling scripture; To calm the storms of broken dreams, And reconcile the soul's torn seams; The flank against our wounded pride, And support our own savior's rise!
Oh! You who struggle along the way, With fears until the close of day; She binds the wounds that Angel's pain And gently whispers "Withstand the rain Look up, move on, your sufferings pure The dear Lord promised we shall endure!"
I love you Mom, Happy Mother's Day! Attachments:
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Post by Susan Peabody on Sept 22, 2010 14:49:39 GMT -8
God has asked one thing of me. To hang in there. One day at a time, one breath at a time.
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Post by soleil marie on Nov 9, 2010 16:21:53 GMT -8
Susan,
WOW! What an absolutely beautiful poem your son wrote for you. It is absolutely amazing and very touching. Thank you for sharing such beautiful, loving, and inspiring work, i.e., poems, quotes, family pics, and drawings. It truly warms the soul and radiates light and hope for all.
Thank you
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Post by Susan Peabody on May 24, 2014 19:59:44 GMT -8
Isabelle graduated from Plesant Hill Academy and received a scholarship to a Seventh Day Adventist University in California. It is now 2018 and I just got back from Hailey's high school graduation. She was the class president and straight A student. My heart ached at both graduations. I could not wrap my brain around the fact that Kathy was not there to see her baby give her beautiful speech. But life goes on. I am so proud of Isabelle and Hailey. Attachments:
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Post by Susan Peabody on Sept 4, 2024 15:54:09 GMT -8
Isabelle is working in Seattle. Hailey is getting her doctorate at Loma Linda University. I see them every few years. Money lives in Brazil. Karl got it MBA from Dominican College. All is well. Attachments:
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Post by Susan Peabody on Sept 4, 2024 15:55:17 GMT -8
September 8, 2024 This blog has really helped with my grief, but it is time to move on just as Kathy did when she went home to Jesus. I have resumed my life as a counselor and writer. I am working on improving my relationship with my surviving child Karl. I am celebrating forty-two years of sobriety and have finally found peace of mind. What is my secret? I found a personal relationship with God and rely on him to guide me and help me persevere. Remember, perseverance is a virtue. Stand tall. Attachments:
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