Resentments are the blocks that hold us back from loving others and ourselves. Resentments do not punish the other person; they punish us. They become barriers to feeling good and enjoying life. They prevent us from being in harmony with the world. Resentments are hardened chunks of anger. They loosen up and dissolve with forgiveness and letting go.
Letting go of resentments does not mean we allow the other person to do anything to us that he or she wants. It means we accept what happened in the past, and we set boundaries for the future. We can let go of resentments and still have boundaries.
We try to see the good in the person or the good that ultimately evolved from whatever incident we feel resentful about. We try to see our part.
Then we put the incident to rest.
Praying for those we resent helps. Asking God to take our resentments from us helps too.
What better way to begin a New Year than by cleaning the slate of the past, and entering this one free of resentments.
Higher Power, help me become ready to let go of my resentments. Bring any resentment that is hidden within me, and blocking me, to the surface. Show me what I need to do to take care of my self by letting go of resentments, and then help me do that.
Years ago I wrote down all my resentments. It filled two pages. I seemed to carry these little tapes in my head of persons who slighted me or hurt me in some way. Some were big but others were small. I was amazed how I could hang on to them. I read several books about this and found a really good one titled Forgive and Forget. But after several years of no recovery programs and trying to do things on my own, I began my old habit of collecting resentments. I have started to right them down again and clean house. Once I put them down on paper they start to look smaller and I can begin the task of letting go. Each one has the power to trigger me and I need to realize that. When I returned to recovery a few months ago a women giving a talk said one of her dysfunctional thoughts was "I'll show you, I'll kick me." That was funny and got me thinking how naive hanging on to stuff is, and how I reopen old wounds every time I think of the hurt. Today I will let go of one more hurt. ng
Post by seekingserenitynow on Apr 26, 2010 22:44:05 GMT -8
I love this idea of writing down resentments as a step towards letting them go.
Reminds me of the "God jar" thing I've been doing (think it's a technique from the book The Artist's Way which has really helped in my recovery, especially the codependency and lack of self-care): Have a God jar you put papers in with your fears and worries and problems written on them. As a symbol of handing them over to God (or should I say "Higher Power").
Post by Loving My Life on Nov 29, 2013 7:14:33 GMT -8
Resentments are the Number One offender for any addiction, they will cause relapses.
Expectations only led to resentments, and resentments led to anger, and when we are at the point of anger, we have lost our ability to think logically, and we will act out.
So when you are feeling resentful this is a red flag to reach out to someone in your recovery circle, and talk about how you are feeling, and don't worry about the answers you might get from the other person, you still have to speak about how you are feelings, regardless.
A problem shared is a problem cut in half.
One day at a time :-) :-). . .We can do together, what we could never do alone. :-) And a problem shared, is a problem cut in half. :-) :-)