Post by Susan Peabody on Jan 30, 2009 12:19:02 GMT -8
For many people, changing requires working hard with the helpful guidance of others. This guidance can often be found in support groups.
Why do groups help? Honesty is very fragile. It begins to fall apart in isolation. To guard against the withering away of the progress you’ve made, it’s important to find a community of other people who are also working to change. Many wonderful things happen in such a place:
• You’ll tell your story out loud and find out, to your amazement, that you are not the only one with this problem and that you are not banished from the group.
• You’ll find love and support from others who really understand what you’re going through.
• You’ll find strength you didn’t know you had and the hope you thought you had lost.
• You’ll find more wisdom about how to change than you know what to do with.
• You will find a place where you can be honest and share secrets. This will help dissipate your toxic shame.
• You’ll learn a lot about your problems and what you can do about them. The people you meet will share their insights and recommend books and other resources. This will facilitate the changes you want to make.
• You’ll be reminded to guard against procrastination and denial, because showing up is a constant reminder that you need to change.
• Calling people in your support group will help you avoid the dysfunctional behavior that you want to change. You can call someone before acting out in some irrational way.
• Support groups make you accountable to the group. You’ll find yourself doing for them what you won’t do for yourself. (As you develop your own inner strength, accountability to the group will became less important.)