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Post by claire3264 on Feb 19, 2009 3:26:50 GMT -8
Hi I got Susan's book and have read about the inner child. I pictured my inner child and took her hand but she didn't want to come with me and leave her mum and dad, particularly her mum. I felt sad and a bit upset. As far I can remember I had a good childhood, only child but very very close to my mum. Can anyone help explain this problem with the inner child?
Thanks
Claire
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Post by Susan Peabody on Feb 19, 2009 11:19:10 GMT -8
When your inner child will not go with you it is a sign that you are disconnected from yourself and your past. Call if low self-esteem or self-alienation, this is typical of love addicts. Put another way, your child is afraid of you and she is clinging to her family of origin. Also, as Halpern explains we are supposed to be "launched" by our parents into adulthood. If this did not happen we have to do it in recovery by getting our inner child to go with us metaphorically and in real life cutting the emotional bonds with our parents. There are mixed opinions about how close we should be to our parents. Most people believe we must grow up and leave home both physically and emotionally. I don't have an opinion. My son is closer to me than he should be. But if you are so close to your mom that you don't have a healthy sense of self then this is a problem. Are you in therapy to help resolve this? Go back to talk to your child as often as possible. Eventually she will trust you enough to go with you. Then you know you are healing. I look forward to other comments on this. |
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Post by claire3264 on Feb 19, 2009 13:37:05 GMT -8
Thank you for replying to me. I am 45 have been in recovery in AA for 5 years and not worked the programme but used relationships to change the way I feel. I am a mess and am so scared that I won't be able to sort my life out
Claire
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Post by kathie on Mar 29, 2009 7:04:57 GMT -8
Hey Claire - I'm 47 and slowly learning how to sort out my life. I will have 18 months in AA on March 31.
I guess the difference is the program. I am ACTIVELY using the AA program or the 12 steps for everything. Someone said something to me one time in a meeting (that has been said before) that hit me and has stayed with me now for months and months.
We were not sick because we drank (drugged, were addicted to a peole, co-dependant, spend to much money ... whatever we do to feel better).
We did these things because we were sick.
If we were diabetic we would seek help to take care of that sickness and not give it a second thought.
We addicts have a solution that has been proven time and time again to arrest our "issues" ... we need to just take the tools and use them.
I find to use these tools I must go to meetings each day and get renewed. I plan to do this everyday for the rest of my life. But I have come to enjoy these meetings. They are my gift to myself.
My suggestion for you is to go to AA - do a 90 and 90. Just show up each and every day and you will be shown the solution.
Good Luck
gb
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Post by kathie on Mar 29, 2009 7:07:23 GMT -8
One last thing ... I too struggled with my inner child issues. I found I had to gain her trust slowly. Now I have a 50 / 50 chance of calming her down.
GB
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