My Role Model

My daughter Kathy is my best role model. Years ago, when I wanted to change, I began observing her carefully. I noticed that she was a good listener, calm most of the time, patient, polite, and quick to see other people’s point of view. Also, she didn’t take things personally. We used to call people like her charming and mature. These days we would say she has a great deal of “emotional intelligence.” This term, coined by Daniel Goleman in his book by the same name, suits Kathy well. She seems to have been born that way. I know she didn’t get these characteristics from me.

Since Kathy is my role model, when we’re together I take cues from her. If we’re at the supermarket and people are annoying, she stays calm. Every time I start to get upset, I just look at her and think, if she can be polite so can I. When we’re apart, I frequently ask myself, “What would Kathy do in this situation?” Then I do it. Most of all, I spend a lot of time observing her interact with people and literally copy her movements. For example, I noticed one day, while watching her, that she spends a good deal of time listening to people. She nodded her head and smiled as they went on and on. Now this was something I rarely did so I decided to give it a try. My list of friends almost doubled. It is rather interesting to have your role model, and the woman you admire most in the world, turn out to be your own daughter. All I can say is that God works in mysterious ways.

Kathy passed away in 2011. She taught me so much and I miss her.