I was a Torchbearer. I could only minimize my love for one guy when a new guy came along. In recovery, I was single so I transferred my passion for my PoA to my Higher Power. Then I met the right man and now I love both.
Last Edit: May 27, 2019 15:20:18 GMT -8 by Namaste
I'm glad it helps. You have a great awareness and you got the idea that you have a "torchbearer" tendency. I would recommend this book, "Let Go Now: Embracing Detachment" by Karen Casey. It would help you to let go and move on. Yes, just one day at a time.
Your recovery is worth the pain of your withdrawal. Remember that "the pain you feel today will be the strength you feel tomorrow." Fantasy-based relationship is a lie. Face your reality and stay well!Kind Regards to all LAA members here, - Codepnomore
Post by Susan Peabody on Sept 4, 2020 12:13:54 GMT -8
I am a torchbearer too. I still love everybody I ever loved. But my major love is God and he will never leave me. Torchbearers can't stop loving for a long time but they can make the best of it. The secret is to go from obsession to endearment to sentiment. When the pain is gone you are FREE, even if you still love this person. Loving someone who is unavailable is only painful when you want them to reciprocate. When you give that up and accept the situation the pain subsides