Definition of Torchbearers | A Brighter Tomorrow for Love Addicts

Susan Peabody
Elder Member

Administrator

Welcome to recovery . . .

Posts: 9,313

Definition of Torchbearers Apr 8, 2009 12:58:33 GMT -8 sexlessw, jasmema, and 3 more like this

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Post by Susan Peabody on Apr 8, 2009 12:58:33 GMT -8

I have decided that torchbearers need their own forum. We suffer more than most because our love does not fade with time. Start your own thread if you are a torchbearer.

Blog Post

www.thefix.com/living-sober/torchbearer-unrequited-love

I was a Torchbearer. I could only minimize my love for one guy when a new guy came along. In recovery, I was single so I transferred my passion for my PoA to my Higher Power. Then I met the right man and now I love both.

Last Edit: May 27, 2019 15:20:18 GMT -8 by Namaste

CodepNomore
Elder Member

I cannot change the past nor predict the future but I can choose to make the most of situation now.

Posts: 2,336

Definition of Torchbearers Sept 7, 2014 23:18:04 GMT -8 sandy_love and elisheva like this

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Post by CodepNomore on Sept 7, 2014 23:18:04 GMT -8

Hi sandy_love,

I'm glad it helps. You have a great awareness and you got the idea that you have a "torchbearer" tendency. I would recommend this book, "Let Go Now: Embracing Detachment" by Karen Casey. It would help you to let go and move on. Yes, just one day at a time.

Your recovery is worth the pain of your withdrawal. Remember that "the pain you feel today will be the strength you feel tomorrow." Fantasy-based relationship is a lie. Face your reality and stay well!Kind Regards to all LAA members here,
- Codepnomore

Trust Co, she knows what she is talking about.

Susan

Susan Peabody
Elder Member

Administrator

Welcome to recovery . . .

Posts: 9,313

Definition of Torchbearers Sept 4, 2020 12:13:54 GMT -8

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Post by Susan Peabody on Sept 4, 2020 12:13:54 GMT -8

I am a torchbearer too. I still love everybody I ever loved. But my major love is God and he will never leave me. Torchbearers can't stop loving for a long time but they can make the best of it. The secret is to go from obsession to endearment to sentiment. When the pain is gone you are FREE, even if you still love this person. Loving someone who is unavailable is only painful when you want them to reciprocate. When you give that up and accept the situation the pain subsides