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Post by Susan Peabody on Apr 12, 2009 14:11:56 GMT -8
For a torchbearer progress is getting a crush and being able to starve the limerence through no contact. I used to carry a torch for up to 20 years and now a few months after an infatuation and NC I am free. This is progress for me. I am thrilled.
What does your progress look like?
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Post by fluffybunny on Apr 17, 2009 22:37:55 GMT -8
Progress is having a crush and successfully resisting the impulse to try and push a relationship into being with my crush.
Progress is realizing that a crush is not a reliable indicator of whether or not someone is a suitable partner for me.
Progress is accepting that I'm crush-prone, but knowing that crushes don't have to disrupt my life when they happen.
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Post by qwerty on Jan 14, 2010 8:26:33 GMT -8
I have crushes on people who I know will never be around long enough to really know me.
Progress for me is turning down a dinner invitation from exactly that sort of man, knowing that i am protecting my sanity. (snipping it in the bud)
Progress is not encouraging that cute European guy at the hostel who was looking at me with that glint in his eye.
Progress for me is saying no to a long distance relationship, knowing that pining and longing and imagining is not an actual relationship and not real intimacy with someone you barely know..
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Post by primrose on Feb 20, 2010 10:34:40 GMT -8
Progress is that this month I didn't have the dreadful longing and obsession and yearning for contact come back that has haunted me at the end of my cycle for the last 2 years.
I cried and I felt sad and had some obsessive thoughts, but the difference is marked. I came to this site because I was still obsessed with my POA after 2 years of recovery and NC (bar a few slips via calls, but no actual contact)
The only thing that is different is coming here and posting and also finding out about the idea of a phantom lover. So am very grateful to this site and Susan's information here. Thank you. Primrose.
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nlala
New Member
Posts: 35
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Post by nlala on Aug 19, 2010 6:19:28 GMT -8
Progress is making a commitment to myself to not fantasize. Progress is getting on this board a reading so I can understand my addiction and heal. Progress is knowing that I keep having failed relationships because I tend to fantasize and make people into something their not. Progress is learning that the reason I do this is to avoid pain.
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Post by melodyrose on Aug 19, 2010 6:32:40 GMT -8
As Susan wrote... Starving the limerence with NC is key. It is setting me free....
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