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Post by Light on Jun 21, 2009 10:27:12 GMT -8
In these days I'm trying to understand what made (makes somentimes) me feel so incredibly attached to my PoA, praying for just a word from him, hoping he could just have a thought about me, sending dozens of desperate mails, never getting response, and going on e mailing, perfectly knowing to be deeply hurt everytime.
The answer won't be very easy, I'll need time to know it exacltly, but I'm thinking about these things now:
1.The child in me is imploring for attention from my father, very busy when I was a child.
2.The child in me is very angry to my chilhood sexual abuser (I'm forgiving him, though) and want a redempion, a great consolation from that unberable pain of abuse.
The reason of the irrational, painful and meanwhile ecstatic pseudo-relationship with my PoA is in the wounded heart of that little girl.
What can I do to console her and heal her? What do I have to do to disgregate that insane attachement to my PoA?
thank you,
light
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Post by Sophie's world on Jun 22, 2009 6:01:58 GMT -8
Dear Light,
I am so proud at you! So brave that you are willing to ask yourself these questions.
You ask for help:
[glow=red,2,300]The reason of the irrational, painful and meanwhile ecstatic pseudo-relationship with my PoA is in the wounded heart of that little girl.
What can I do to console her and heal her? What do I have to do to disgregate that insane attachement to my PoA?[/glow]
I suggest to make contact with the wounded little girl in you and ask her, she will have the answers. Make a safe place for you both and connect. You can ask her to write you a letter about her feelings, pain and needs. (Our little children have often a lot to tell us if we would give them the space). Than you can write to your little girl from the mature woman you are. We also have a magic wise child insight, our innocent spirit, it can be that you 3 together can share and write and heal each other.
It may take some time to connect and, can take a while before our wounded child dares to speak (but most of the time she has a lot to tell).
Love,
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