Post by peace on Jul 6, 2009 20:45:25 GMT -8
I am still employed at the same business as the POA. We never had a romantic relationship, but I was obsessed over him. We spent lots of time together at work, talking and laughing. I wanted a romantic relationship outside of work, but that never materialized... and was not meant to be.
If possible, I would choose NC in a heartbeat. In fact, I try to avoid the POA as much as possible. Sometimes it's easy. There have been occasions when he would unexpectedly turn up in my area. Since starting recovery, my office has been relocated to a new area. This has been a relief to me, as I see the POA even less often. However, when he does turn up, I find myself getting irritated, thinking-what is HE doing here???
I decided that my boundaries would be:
a. To have only work-related conversations with the POA, and only when absolutely necessary.
b. To not discuss any of my personal business with him, and
c. To not discuss any of his personal business
There are times that I miss our previous closeness. However, I want to keep my promise to myself. Sometimes when I see him, I ask for my HP's help to get through the situation.
There are times when I dread upcoming contact (meetings that are mandatory for both of us for example). There have been times when I will duck my head, try to walk away from where he is, and he will go out of his way to get in my face and speak to me. At least that's what it feels like. I get irritated because I know that I miss the way we used to talk to each other.
In addition to asking for HP's help, I recall the lies the POA told me when we had made a date to get together, and he did a no-show. I tell myself that one of my boundaries is to have healthy, reliable, loving people in my life. Someone who breaks a date with me with no notification is NOT the type of person I want in my life because that violates my boundaries. All the attractiveness in the world will not make up for being a person that I can not trust.
If possible, I would choose NC in a heartbeat. In fact, I try to avoid the POA as much as possible. Sometimes it's easy. There have been occasions when he would unexpectedly turn up in my area. Since starting recovery, my office has been relocated to a new area. This has been a relief to me, as I see the POA even less often. However, when he does turn up, I find myself getting irritated, thinking-what is HE doing here???
I decided that my boundaries would be:
a. To have only work-related conversations with the POA, and only when absolutely necessary.
b. To not discuss any of my personal business with him, and
c. To not discuss any of his personal business
There are times that I miss our previous closeness. However, I want to keep my promise to myself. Sometimes when I see him, I ask for my HP's help to get through the situation.
There are times when I dread upcoming contact (meetings that are mandatory for both of us for example). There have been times when I will duck my head, try to walk away from where he is, and he will go out of his way to get in my face and speak to me. At least that's what it feels like. I get irritated because I know that I miss the way we used to talk to each other.
In addition to asking for HP's help, I recall the lies the POA told me when we had made a date to get together, and he did a no-show. I tell myself that one of my boundaries is to have healthy, reliable, loving people in my life. Someone who breaks a date with me with no notification is NOT the type of person I want in my life because that violates my boundaries. All the attractiveness in the world will not make up for being a person that I can not trust.
