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Post by rio6789 on Nov 6, 2009 17:11:28 GMT -8
I need help.......in a nutshell, I'm 38 F, married with 4 kids (7 and under).....I just sent a married man (whose wife is also my good friend, and our kids are too), an e-mail that told him I thought he was attractive, and that every minute I spent with him at a kids' bday party was extremely enjoyable......I've been tracking this guy for the past 6months, and have been trying to intersect with him at every occasion where I know he will be there.......then I try to look all pretty, with the goal of getting him hot and bothered........look at him seductively, send him a lot of e-mails, with just a touch of flirtation, text him etc. become best friends with his wife...........
yesterday he e-mailed me back basically saying he was surprised by my intentions, that he thought of me only as a friend, that it can't go any further, that he loves his wife and he is intent on fixing any difficulty they may be having.......
I felt like someone stabbed me a thousand times in the moments I was reading that e-mail.......I felt like I wanted to throw up.....felt so exposed and raw, and humiliated and naive and abandoned, sweating, asslike, so toxic ----especially compared to him, who so eloquently and decently stated reality to me!!!!
this is not the first time I've played with lives so carelessly like this......
now I'm just glad that I've not e-mailed him for just over 24 hours.......
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Post by lotus on Nov 6, 2009 17:35:40 GMT -8
I can relate with a lot of what you say. I've had to learn to let go of that part of myself...I've had to learn to grow-up. I think working the 12-steps would be really helpful for you.
What is your relationship like with your husband? When I started therapy my therapist kept suggesting that I was avoiding intimacy with my husband. I thought he was way off at first and then realized he was dead-on.
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Post by rio6789 on Nov 6, 2009 19:30:15 GMT -8
I'm already in another 12-step program.......which is how I ended up finding out about this character defect of mine....
I think I am avoiding intimacy with my husband.....but probably am in denial about it.....
thanks for you reply
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Post by geedee on Nov 6, 2009 23:30:44 GMT -8
i'm certain that my love addiction was sparked off because I was avoiding intimacy with my husband too. want to start working on that. going to see priest with him asap.
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