Post by gratefulheart on Dec 3, 2009 22:06:55 GMT -8
I am struggling with letting go of my fantasy life completely. i have always been an imaginative, sensitive person who has felt different than the world..I have felt a special kinship in my life with people who are the same, even those i've never met and have no chance of ever meeting.
I bring this up because I felt this special kinship with deceased singer, Andy Gibb.. He was my first pop crush and the first time I felt that it was something innocent, sweet and not obsessive. I obviously know i will never meet him as he passed away when i was five years old..
He was one of the first innocent crushes i've had in my fantasy life and it didn't carry all of the baggage of my POA's. Now that i'm cutting loose all three of my POA's, I can't help but feel like I could find comfort transferring the torch to Andy Gibb. i know i sound crazy! i really apologize. i'm just looking for a healthy way to transfer the torch, that doesn't interfere with reality, cause destructive consequences and actions and perhaps just go back to the innocent kinship i felt with my first "star crush".
I want to get healthy and free from my addiction and do realize that i've placed people over God and myself. i don't want to do that anymore. the thing is, as far as passing the torch, the feelings that overwhelm me is i need the bearer of that torch to be someone who could want me in a romantic sense. perhaps i need to break free of that too? maybe that's part of the addiction? or maybe i'm just a romantic at heart.
is this unhealthy to transfer torch to someone who is a real person, even if they have passed away?
I bring this up because I felt this special kinship with deceased singer, Andy Gibb.. He was my first pop crush and the first time I felt that it was something innocent, sweet and not obsessive. I obviously know i will never meet him as he passed away when i was five years old..
He was one of the first innocent crushes i've had in my fantasy life and it didn't carry all of the baggage of my POA's. Now that i'm cutting loose all three of my POA's, I can't help but feel like I could find comfort transferring the torch to Andy Gibb. i know i sound crazy! i really apologize. i'm just looking for a healthy way to transfer the torch, that doesn't interfere with reality, cause destructive consequences and actions and perhaps just go back to the innocent kinship i felt with my first "star crush".
I want to get healthy and free from my addiction and do realize that i've placed people over God and myself. i don't want to do that anymore. the thing is, as far as passing the torch, the feelings that overwhelm me is i need the bearer of that torch to be someone who could want me in a romantic sense. perhaps i need to break free of that too? maybe that's part of the addiction? or maybe i'm just a romantic at heart.
is this unhealthy to transfer torch to someone who is a real person, even if they have passed away?
[/center]