|
|
Post by fallingapart on Sept 6, 2008 17:04:17 GMT -8
Hi, I am new to this site. All I know is that I am helpless and falling apart. I just recently got out of a 5 year on and off relationship and a unhealthy one at that. But for some reason, I feel like I cannot live without my ex. I feel empty inside and everyday I contemplate suicide. I just don't want to feel anymore. I really need help and I don't know what else to do. I will do anything to be happy and able to live my life without him in it. Please help me
|
|
2muchpain
Full Member
Prayer Requests
Posts: 184
|
Post by 2muchpain on Sept 6, 2008 17:49:12 GMT -8
Suicide is not an answer. You CAN live without this man.....you just need the tools to learn how. You are a love addict and you have taken the RIGHT step by coming here!! Be patient with yourself. Cry and grieve when you need to, but understand that the pain WILL GO AWAY. Keep reading and posting and this WILL get better.
|
|
|
|
Post by Susan Peabody on Sept 6, 2008 19:27:14 GMT -8
Hang in there. I have been where you are and the feelings always ease up in time. |
|
|
|
Post by LovelyJune on Sept 7, 2008 4:35:38 GMT -8
Sometimes it's hard to hear that suicide is not the answer. I do not know what religion you practice, but in buddhism, suicide is definitely NOT the answer because of reincarnation. You end up coming back in a different body with the same set of problems to solve! Over and over again. Eek. Little humor there, but in all seriousness, it's a way to help you to start to think of different options. Imagine being given the same problem over and over throughout eternity until you solve it. That's what this life is about, fallingapart. Be VERY PATIENT with yourself. Be COMPASSIONATE with yourself. You WILL heal. You will feel better. And when you do, promise yourself you will not see suicide as an option. Pasting wings made of feathers onto your arms is not an option. You will never fly. Trick yourself into believing suicide is one of those things that just cannot be.
What do you think of that? Tell us more about yourself. I'd like to know!
T
|
|
|
|
Post by bluebird on Sept 7, 2008 6:08:53 GMT -8
Hi,
falling...,
welcome to the boards. I hope that you find strength and peace here.
Thank you for sharing with us about your pain. Many of us have come to this place with a similar dilema.
A call for help comes.....................
When the pain is great and we don't know how to make it stop - perhaps you have felt this before - it can seem unbearable.
People contemplate suicide when they don't have the tools to make the pain stop.
You have come to a place in life where you no longer know how to make it better on your own. that is what I read.
So, good news -
You can learn new tools. You can learn some here on this site and we can refer you to other sources of help as well.
You can learn with us - you no longer have to do it alone.
peace,
bluebird
|
|
|
|
Post by sobrietythirst on Sept 7, 2008 9:41:54 GMT -8
Hi fallingapart,
I recently just posted something along the same lines.
I looked at all I hadn't achieved. Who'd left me...? What I didn't have.
But I am learning to understand that is the past. There have been many other things that have fallen behind that I am so much better without. Is this your first POA.
And even though I am not confident in my future...I have survived some mighty terrible things.
And that says something about my strength--even when I don't see it.
You said you'll do anything to be happy...
What things do you enjoy?
What people, animals..activities..make you happy?
Once you think about those things..that centeredness around your POA will gain some perspective.
I've been here...nothing happens overnight---baby steps.
Hold on,
sobrietythirst
|
|
|
|
Post by judy on Sept 7, 2008 16:34:20 GMT -8
Hi falling - Ditto what everyone has said!
We've all been through it. WORST pain I've ever experienced. Wanted to drive into a telephone pole. Was afriad to go to sleep because I'd have to wake up with the pain. It's just AWFUL.
BUT IT WILL PASS!!! Word of advice? Don't keep focusing on having to be happy right away. That may sound blasphemus(sic) - but give yourself the time and room to feel sad, bad, angry, afraid, etc. Feel the feelings, cry your heart out, punch some pillows.... But KEEP POSTING ON THIS SITE!!!!
Are you familiar with 12 step programs? Get some AA literature.
There are some great books on love addiction. Reading them helped me enormously. If nothing else it takes up time while your heart heals.
Stay in the moment. Do the next thing. Wash the dishes. Brush your teeth. Call a friend. Watch TV.
It will hurt. It will abate. It will hurt again. It will abate again.
Sooner or later it will even out. In the meantime, be good to yourself and keep posting!
|
|
|
|
Post by Susan Peabody on Sept 8, 2008 12:40:27 GMT -8
Fallingapart . . . how are you doing? |
|
