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Post by claire3264 on Apr 2, 2009 4:15:15 GMT -8
Hi
Well the pain became too much to bear on Monday night and if it wasn't for some friends from the fellowship I wouldn't be hear to tell the tale. I am so terrified my girls might have got a disease through my ex poa and I now see he was an addict although not all the time. They had their toothbrushes in the same pot as his and this terrifies me.
I am not concerned for myself as I will deal with whatever is thrown at me but could never live with myself if anything was wrong with my girls.
They have to get tested tomorrow but we have to wait till August to know for sure if we are clear and that seems like a mountain to climb I am getting tablets from the Dr but find myself terrified most of the time. Please please help me someone
Claire
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Post by tcooley on Apr 2, 2009 8:49:21 GMT -8
Claire,
I stood in the shower 3 months ago as I listened to my kids get ready for school...16, 12, and 11 years old. I held a razor that I kept faithfully in the shower to my wrist assuring myself that this was the only way to escape the pain. I had put my kids through hell in dealing with my POA, endangered their welfare, put him before them, sacrificed all integrity in the name of "love"...I'd be doing my babies and the world a favor just ending it all.
And as I dragged the razor a fraction of a millimeter and blood started dripping a power stronger than myself forced me to drop that razor. What was I doing...what would my kids on the other side of that bathroom door do without me. Who would love them more than me.
And why was I trying to end my misery just to rid myself of earthly pain where it would be replaced by suffering that my kids would have to go through in dealing with a mother that gave up rather than fight.
So thats what I did Claire. I decided I would fight. Fight to heal whatever it was causing this in me, fight to give my kids and myself emotional stability.
It was not easy. But what I can say is that it was worth the fight. Im not sure what you think your kids might have, with God on their side I am positive he has carried them through these hard times and will not fail you now.
Your kids need their mom. There is nothing here on earth worth dying for that can not be forgiven, fixed, or changed. The struggle may wear you out, the pain may try to overcome you, but you were given a chance in this life to do all you can to make it to the next. You were blessed with beautiful kids whose unconditional love no matter what circumstances were thrown their way will see you through.
Friend, death is final. There is no coming back from it. Keep posting, keep talking about it, seek professional help, love your babies whose first love is you...their mother, keep a diary so you may look back at this dark place and be proud of what you will overcome. God is not ready for you yet Claire. Your purpose is not over. I am praying for you as I am sure many of us are.
God is protecting your children. God is protecting you.
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Post by Susan Peabody on Apr 2, 2009 19:47:20 GMT -8
Even with all my years of recovery I "nearly did it," after my mother died because my family stopped speaking to me. At the funeral my sister said, "Mom would have a fit if she knew you were here because she didn't even like you." But the Lord resurrected me. I am fine now. Meds help. |
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Post by claire3264 on Apr 3, 2009 3:02:26 GMT -8
Thank you to you all but I am so scared, what if the girls tests come back showing hepatitis or something I could never live with that. With me I just have to but my girls its too terrible to think about. I am not functioning at the moment just existing from one day to the next and this will have to go on for 3 more months!
I can't eat and am tablets to help me sleep my elderly mother and father at their wits ends what use am I to anyone like this. The pain is so great.
Claire
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Post by tcooley on Apr 3, 2009 4:23:40 GMT -8
They don't have it Claire. They don't. Believe it. Have faith.
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Post by so confused on Apr 3, 2009 4:38:32 GMT -8
Claire,
I so feel for you and it would be so devastating if the tests on your kids came back showing that they have something but imagine if they didn't have you.
Not trying to make you feel quilty. I have been where you are and sometimes now I get angry because I feel so horrible that I want to end things and I know I can't because it would mess my daughter up beyond comprehension. I have to fight this fight for her as well as myself.
You can do this too. Pull on our strength if you need to. Know that others are pulling for you. Get angry if you need to. The other night I sat on my living room floor and begged God to take me out of my misery. I told him I knew that I had brought alot of it on myself but that I just couldn't stand the pain anymore.
You know what....it's not great yet.... but it helped to just put it all on the table whether anyone was listening or not. I kind of believe someone was because I was nasty and angry and vengeful and I yelled (in my head, my daughter was in her room) at God because he wouldn't just take me and in the end I just felt like I heard someone saying "hang in there, it will get better and you are loved". Don't know anyone who would take an outburst like that and give back love but anyway it helped. See my thought was that if he just somehow kills me I am not responsible and it won't mess my daughter up so much then.
But the thing is that I realized is I don't really want to die I just don't want all the pain and I think it may be the same for you.
You just don't want to hurt so much and I don't blame you. You are going through the absolute worse right now, the bottom, the worst. But you can do this Claire...you can turn things around and if the kids are sick then you will somehow deal with it.
This is long but well its long....
When I was in a therapy group and one of the members would attempt suicide and they had kids most of the group would be angry at the person because they kept saying that suicide was the most selfish act in the world.
I got what they were saying but I also always thought...ya that would help me (tongue in cheek)...if I was that devastated and in that much pain that I wasn't thinking clear enough to know that there was another answer people pooring quilt on me certainly wouldn't have made things better. (my parents put enough quilt on me I had absolutely no problem putting it on myself thank you)I know that sometimes some people need to hear the absolute truth/reality when they are not seeing it but I think you know on some level that suicide would be horible for your kids. I think that right now you need to focus on the fact that you are not alone and we care right now when its hard for you to care about yourself.
You know sometimes I think when someone successfully committs suicide that they are at peace and that they just couldn't cope but you are not one of those people Claire. Just the mere fact that you seek help shows that you are not one of those people. You ask for help and that is so awsome and that constitutes hope and that deep down you know somewhere inside that you are worth something. Don't give up on yourself because that is true. Even with a truck load of mistakes behind you (we have all made them...want my list???)
Please hang in there Claire because we care.
so confused
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Post by Judy on Apr 3, 2009 7:47:05 GMT -8
claire - Have you talked to competent doctors about the probability that your children have been infected by their toothbrushes being beside your poa's? I cannot stress enough that you should not be living with these fears alone. Get information. They may not be able to give you a definitive answer - only the tests can do that - but talk to them. Tell them your fears and what is going on with your emotional well-being because of what you think might happen.
These professionals deal with scenarios like this all the time. Please talk to them if you have'nt already.
YOu really have to work the program slogans right now. Just for today. Let it go. Replace fear with faith. Do the next right thing.
I am not a mother, claire, but I can truly imagine what you are experiencing. This is what we call a "no matter what". It's a huge "no matter what". That means you cannot drink over this "no matter what".
I am going to keep you in my prayers.
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Post by nickie on Apr 3, 2009 20:30:55 GMT -8
me too claire, you are in my prayers.
it took me some time to find proper meds. i take as perscribed something called: cymbalta. this is not a mood changer. this medicine switches off my suicidal impulse & nothing else. i do not take sleeping meds but as we know sleep is crucial to mental stability. for me suicide is no longer a valid option since i have a kid and proper medication now. i hear and see your pain.
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2muchpain
Full Member
Prayer Requests
Posts: 184
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Post by 2muchpain on Apr 4, 2009 19:31:36 GMT -8
Claire,
I have been where you are in terms of almost doing it. Those girls NEED you regardless of what happens in the future. You need to take care of yourself to take care of them. Checking out is NOT the answer though a few months ago I would have SWORN it was. Hang in there sweetheart. This DOES get better. I PROMISE!
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Post by greeneyes on Feb 10, 2010 16:58:37 GMT -8
No matter how much pain was caused by addictive relationship with W, no matter how many times I believe I hit "Rock Bottom," no matter how many meetings I attend, pledges I make, prayers I say, written first step work I do...still that nagging compulsive thought and feeling keeps returning: "why doesn't she call anymore?" "I miss that feeling (Fantasy) that we had something special" and I no matter times I've blocked her e-mails, texts and calls...I end up calling her or e-mailing her telling her "I miss Her."
So this time she was angry again because I had e-mailed and called. She said that I could not afford her taste (true, I can't afford $300 "gifts" for hair & teeth treatments and additional contributions to get her breast implants.) Then she calls back after I said "Goodbye" crying. This time she said "would you like to get me dressed up as a French Maid and (sex)" and that part of my Addict is hooked. Then I make the mistake of calling her back at work and she calls back later livid. She says I'm "Emotionally Unstable" (agree-I'm a Sex and Love Addict that's sensitive, insecure and obsessed) and should find another woman to obsess about.
Last night I left work crying feeling the ONLY WAY to stop contacting her would be to commit SUICIDE. I planned everything out and left a suicide note and was going to send notes to cover my 12-Step commitments and had a bottle filled with every kind of pill that would have killed me or at least put me in a coma and given me cardiac arrest.
But the first pills I took made me sleepy and either God intervened, the feeling went away or I was too tired. I called in sick today, psychiatrist was of little help but I talked to my Sponsor and went to fellowship and am meeting somebody with good recovery around Love Addiction in half an hour. One Day at a Time I Pray I Will not Contact W.
W is outstanding at defending her sex addict/ prostitute-like and narcsistic behavior as a healthy choice and blaming everything on me and my immaturity and lack of control. She is absolute POISON to me and has led me to Suicidal thoughts on 3-4 occasions. God please help remove my thoughts and feelings for W.
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Post by perfectday on Feb 10, 2010 22:49:27 GMT -8
W is outstanding at defending her sex addict/ prostitute-like and narcsistic behavior as a healthy choice and blaming everything on me and my immaturity and lack of control. She is absolute POISON to me and has led me to Suicidal thoughts on 3-4 occasions. God please help remove my thoughts and feelings for W. She's externalising her own shame R. People are toxic and dangerous when they do that. I've been suicidal too but I promise you if you can stay away from her and be courageous enough to feel that pain (and it certainly will feel like losing Mum) it will get better. It's slow and we panic. We don't think we can make it through, but we can. Best wishes to you. |
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Post by geedee on Feb 11, 2010 2:41:35 GMT -8
richard, my POA was shame averse. he was a sex addict, narcissistic and did his utmost to convince me that i was missing out on something in life by not being daring.
When I think of this stuff now I realise how toxic his ideas were for me.
when you mention W it makes me feel nauseous. It really does. she's using you and abusing you.
Please talk about you and your recovery and don't mention her any more. she is happy to be where she is and do what she does to get what she wants. she does not believe there is anything wrong with her so let's just leave her to get on with her life.
We only want to hear about your recovery now.
greta
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Post by primrose on Feb 11, 2010 3:13:12 GMT -8
I'm very glad you are still here. Very glad. Your pain must be terrible and I'm truly sorry that it is so bad. I don't know your story, but are you on medication? I hope that you are getting enough help to get you through this.
All that money you spend on her HAS to be spent on you. Bottom line ALL money and gifts, all of it. Not a penny to her ever again, and think of phone calls that way too. They cost MONEY. Seriously, if you've got the prostitution stuff going on with her, all money stuff has to stop as well as the sex. NOW. It may be that you are just as addicted to the money exchange and that is often harder to break than the other stuff.
Get away if it's practical, if you are slipping so much you are missing something in your recovery. You need something else to help you. What is it? Is it rehab? A retreat where you simply can't have contact? What is it? Find out and do it. You must not die for this girl. Okay? You are precious. You matter. Look to what you need, it's okay if it's more than other people in meetings, that's okay, some of us need more. Very best to you. Primrose.
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Post by ok2bme on Feb 11, 2010 9:46:33 GMT -8
"We only want to hear about your recovery now."
GreenEyes...I just wanted to let you know I truely understand your pain. It's the very thing that brought me here. I can also tell you that my biggest benefits toward recovery came from returning to an HP, reaching out & reading recommended books (now reading Facing Love Addiction) also being strict with my thoughts after the obsession was lifted.
There were times I very much needed to talk about him & situations because I did not know how to handle them differently than my addict self would allow me to & because it was a connection to him...& I was attempting to be freed from the addiction but not quite finding relief yet.
I've read your post & don't see anything different than standard posts when someone is painfully trying to cope or find new ways.
It does not make me ill to hear you or anyone speak of a situation with their PoA. If anything it makes me feel like I have experienced a miracle to have that very pain/obsession/addiction lifted to the point that I am able to see my empty, lonely life (blessing that I can see because it gives me a chance to change it) & to READ & be with friends & DO something other than SEE HIM in my mind. It reminds me of what can be minutes away if I allow my thoughts to take off again & for me it helps me.
I don't want you to stay in the state of hurting over her to HELP ME...don't worry, there are new posts every day allowed that are just like yours...but I'm saying the only thing that makes me ill...literally...is being addicted to MY exPoA...not someone else speaking of theirs.
My mom was in the habit of speaking for me & speaking for others to me my whole life.(ie. she told my birthdad I DID NOT want to see him when he attempted to visit me & she told me he never loved me or wanted me...I did not see him from age 2 to age 45...because it made HER feel nauseous) So, now even on a small scale (this being very small) I can not be included in WE unless it's my vote too.
Greeneyes...Keep up the wonderful work of ACTION against your addictions.
Greta, I appreciate you & see you have been a strong encouragement to GreenEyes. I hope you'll understand...I've seen this before but felt that was his place to respond...then I realized it bothered me cuz it felt like someone was speaking for me (WE) & it's not me.
Claire,
The worry will not change the test results, the constant worry will lead to you being less available as a parent. I hope you find peace daily as you wait for the results. That is an awful thing to have to go through.
Prayers for you & your family.
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Post by geedee on Feb 11, 2010 12:30:01 GMT -8
ok2bme,
I know that was hard but richard/greeneyes is sinking lower and lower into his addiction. i've been watching him for months.
WE can help him but only if he wants to be helped. I've said in other posts to richard that I'm not judging him. I can't go into what I've done in great detail because this is LAA but *I* feel sick because I know what he's talking about only too well. i know what sexual addiction does and how you can sink so low you are drowning before you know it.
Tough love because Richard needs it.
Richard, I'm praying for you. I really do want you to break your addiction to her with all my heart.
You will stay in my prayers Richard but I'll leave you in peace from now on because it causes me too much pain to see you like this still.
greta
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Post by geedee on Feb 11, 2010 12:36:47 GMT -8
and you're right ok2bme. I have no right to talk for anybody else and I won't do that again.
greta
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Post by ok2bme on Feb 11, 2010 15:56:38 GMT -8
Greta, I agree you have been very clear in not judging GreenEyes. I'm so blind with this because I really do not see his posts as different from the usuals. He in facts states many sentences of praying & trying & moving forward, but you are definetly more seasoned in recovery than I am so I totally respect your vision. & do believe it comes from a place of wanting to help him get through this horrible addiction.
I really appreciate you acknowledging my we/me thing, it was very considerate, thank you. In past requests to ask to speak for myself, it usually did not work out so well, so it still kinda spooks me to stand up for myself...which probably has a lot to do with how I could have been in a one sided marriage for 25 years & how I could have allowed my exPoA to treat me in a way that I should have taken a stance against from the beginning. Lots of recovery, but thank you for making it ok to say how I felt. Really.
GreenEyes...ACTION AGAINST THE ADDICTION (read, pray, reachout, steps, repeat)...KEEP MOVING...YOU CAN DO IT!
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Post by Susan Peabody on Feb 11, 2010 19:32:55 GMT -8
This is a delicate matter. You have posted on the suicide thread so I so I don't want to sound like you are being rejected. We are not rejecting you. We are asking you to change something about yourself. I want you to take control of what you post (I cannot control what you think or feel.) I am asking you to edit your posts before you click the post button and make sure that you have only talked about your progress in recovery. What is your recovery goal? If it is not to leave this toxic relationship then I am going to have to ask you to leave. If this is your goal tell us all about the progress you have made no matter how minute (small) it is. This self-discipline will be good for your recovery, or is it now called ego strength. Even the Bible talks about self-discipline. We do have a venting thread but even then you can go over board. Would someone contact me if Greeneyes does not comply with my wishes. Yes, this is the problem with this Board. Talking about the problem instead of the solution is all to common. We have high standards and it is going to hurt some people's feelings, but if I don't take this stand we may fade away like ACA (huge in the 80's but not heard much about recently). |
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Post by Susan Peabody on Feb 11, 2010 20:54:42 GMT -8
For those who think I am too harsh, I just sent Greeneyes the following affirmation.Post from GE:
I'm feeling a little anxious as I head off to my morning meeting and then work. I'm also feeling hopeful as I have witnessed so many of you and so many people in my SLAA meetings get 30 days, 90 days and even a year of No Contact with their POA (or as we call them in SLAA "our Qualifier".) I hope I never forget the depths of hopelessness I felt because of my contact with her. Goodbye W. Goodbye fantasies and memories of W. From Susan, aka Butterflygirl . . .
Greeneyes, you have been under fire lately so I just want to say this is a PERFECT post. It is all about YOU. It is optimistic. And optimism is a cure for all that ails you.
Remember, you are a beautiful seedling. Find a HP to water and feed you, and you will grow up to be a beautiful blossom.
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Post by LovelyJune on Feb 13, 2010 6:47:31 GMT -8
There's an underlying truth here that needs to be recognized, in my opinion, which has made Greeneyes' plight to recover a difficult one. Greeneyes is NOT addicted to W. All the focus on trying to maintain NC from W and the rest isn't working because, quite frankly, it's obvious that she, per se isn't the problem. The problem is this: Greeneyes is addicted to drama, pain, suffering and the love and attention he receives from that drama, pain and suffering. Greeneyes defines W as "a poison," he also tries to poison and kill himself with pharmaceutical "poison." He has posted on this blog for at least a year (if not longer) and is continually drawn to the "drama" and subsequent "shame" of not recovering.
If there is to be any improvement or long-term recovery, Greeneyes, you must learn that drama, pain and suffering may make you feel ALIVE, but they cannot sustain you. Somehow along the line, you learned that drama was necessary for survival. It's not. So, if you want to be healthy, you need to stop equating drama, pain and suffering with survival and stop unconsciously believing in them.
I know this little tid bit of advice doesn't adequately address the gazillion other components at play. But I hope it draws attention to the fact that you are focusing on W as being your addiction, when she is very plainly not.
T
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Post by Angel on Feb 13, 2010 9:14:37 GMT -8
Dear Telmita,
I agree with the addiction to drama. I think we often forget that our negative behaviour has rewards even if they may not appear obvious. I made a lot of progress when i started to realise that I was addicted to talking about the POA and yet 'the story was the same"! It was being a victim and being in the drama and chaos that was my reward - I didn't need to face the emptyness and futility of my life. When I was told by my SLAA sponsor to write a lettter to 'Chaos and Drama' and tell them that I was breaking up with them, I noticed a major shift in my life. Everything became calmer, I was sadder and there was considerable grief but the weird thing was that I 'couldn't go back'. Whenever I started up with it again I would realise;
"Nah I gave up chaos and drama in my life. They have gone now!"
I started to look around for other positive things to put in their place and seriously, it has taken me a while but it is slowly happening.
You know, one of the things I worry about this forum is that in some ways we tend to endulge some people in their drama and chaos. I have noticed though if we ignore it, then we do get temper tantrums on the board - and in my six months here I have noticed a few of those!
I guess in essence it is important to be called on our s**t when it is needed!
Thanks for helpiing to clarify this. I think it is really important.
Angel
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Post by joe1960 on Feb 15, 2010 17:14:45 GMT -8
Of all the posts on this board, I find I identify with Green Eyes the most.
I've had suicide fantasies my entire life, and my relationship with my POA brought them back big time. But for me, I know these thoughts will eventually go away - there just another one of my fantasies.
On the other hand, if you are seriously contemplating suicide, don't you really need to check yourself into a hospital ASAP? Especially if you have a gun in the house, you really need to seek professional psychological help immediately - IMHO!
My POA sounds a lot like GreenEyes. My POA is, I believe, a Romance Addict. And although I would clearly be a benefit to her and her children by providing a stable, secure life, I know she is not going to leave her life of serial romances.
Whenever I think about contacting her, I come to this board instead. Whenever I think about cyberstalking, I come to this board instead - the simplicity of this rule has helped me to maintain NC for almost two weeks now.
Why commit suicide for a person that couldn't care less about whether you are dead or alive? To make her feel guilty? Hah!
If I committed suicide, my POA would calmly turn my body over, to get to my wallet and find any petty cash that might be available. All the while, snickering in disgust at my weakness.
And yes, I still love her. I'm sick. I'm in withdrawal. I'M AN ADDICT.
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Post by LovelyJune on Feb 16, 2010 3:23:26 GMT -8
Why commit suicide for a person that couldn't care less about whether you are dead or alive? To make her feel guilty? Hah! OK, so you still have "feelings" for her, but the kind of thinking that I quoted above Joe, is not "sick" thinking. It's healthy thinking and I praise you for coming to that conclusion. I think even healthy people love others who do not love them back. Healthy people simply recognize that it doesn't feel good and move on. They prefer being around people that make them feel good about themselves. And it sounds to me like you are on your way to achieving this by the way in which you know to come here every time you have the urge to revisit the idea of the PoA. Again, the building blocks of healthy thinking. Keep up the good work! And continue to pass your message of strength on to others. They need it! T |
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Post by moonlight on Feb 16, 2010 11:50:49 GMT -8
I think the kind of thing we see around the posts of Greeneyes, happens a lot in 12 step groups. I for one recognize it from my time in OA. There was a person that always had a tendency to share very agressively. I think she was very sick. In these cases, the chairperson had a very hard job of maintaining the boundaries. I think it was wonderful that this person was always allowed into the meetings, but I was also very glad of the chairpersons that set the boundaries in the interest of the whole group.
Susan is our chairperson, together with the other moderator whose name right now I don't remember, I'm sorry. We have all had a chance to be a moderator or to tell Susan we didn't want her. I think no one has. So she is our "trusted servant". Interpreting the ground rules and setting boundaries to people in sharing to protect the group as a whole is her job. If we want to discuss these rules or the interpretation, we should have a business meeting. I don't know what form that would take here. Or maybe the Board of Trustees could discuss it. In any case, imho: not here.
Love, Moonlight
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Post by 8888airplane on Mar 11, 2010 13:27:11 GMT -8
Richard,
I am a Love, food and sex addict, I have been for at least 48 years or longer. I strongly suggest you locate a SAA meeting and start attending weekly meetings. There are all kinds of therapy out there but I believe healing your Inner Child is the key to living a healthy life.
I have a promise with my therapist that I will not do anything that will end my life. Is it easy, nope, do I have roller coaster days, yep. But there are questions which I always ask myself when the emotion (your inner child) starts telling me I am a bad person. That God doesn't love me and I should not get to be happy in life.
Ask yourself these questions when you'er stuck in worry mode:
1. What's the evidence?
2. Am I trying to control things that I can't possibly control?
3. Am I overestimating the risk the I usually do?
4. Will this even matter to me next year, next month or next week?
5. On my death bed, will I regret not having worried more about this?
Notice the mistakes you tolerate or excuse in others and give yourself the same latitude. Do not rationalize your perfectionism as a virtue. Instead of perfection, give yourself permission to strive for consistent adequacy unctuated by occasional mistakes.
Just imagine how happy you'd be if you lost everything you have right now... and then got it all back.
Try to see your worry as one small data point in the larger continuum of your life or as one small wave in the ocean of humanity:
That ain't but a zit on the face of time.
I have this stored in three different locations, in my office, car and by my bedside.
Healing your inner child is the key to living a life of joy and laughter. Emotions are your inner child crying out for help, take that child inside out for a walk, hold their hand and tell them it's OK and that you understand. I do this often with my little boy inside me, it's a lifetime project and I pick times when I allow myself (my scared little boy) to grief. To cry until the tears no longer come and the snot clogs up my nose. What I don't allow to happen is to let my shame become toxic, to let that spiral out of control. I am going to share something I wrote a few years ago before I started healing my inner child. It's not to much different than many people, men and women feel inside but there is hope and a belief that I can rejoin life again; today and in the future.
It’s always there, a place where one wrong step and I will be the only person left in the world. Mostly in my dream but sometimes during my waking hours it’s there waiting to surround me and keep me from escaping.
Once the bonds of thoughts overwhelm me, it feels like being thrown overboard with a 5 ton anchor tied to my body; drowning all my feelings and desire to live.
In my past I could hide from this place; with enough food, work, isolation, sex or books; I could pretend this feeling was at bay. For a long time this had disappeared from my life and now it’s back again.
My mind is always busy analyzing every spoken word, looking for hidden meanings. My barrier is up, keeping it at bay, from pulling me in but I know it’s a constant battle that I will lose one day.
I don’t understand why I have these thoughts or the reason I cannot find a place of safety. When I grow tired of fighting, it’s like a shot in the dark pulling me into hopelessness. The despair just makes me feel completely worthless, toxic and hated. There is no ladder to climb out, no one to help or hear me when I cry out.
One day I am going to set myself free from this nightmare that I’ve lived with all my life. That will be the day I will get go outside; to play, laugh and giggle with all the other kids. That day came to me when I accepted God into my life, God made me and everyone else special and I visit him at least once a day. God put me back in touch with my inner child and am thankful everyday he is in my life.
There is another item which I use more now, I call it My Trinity
Of course your Inner Child, Mother and Father are all parts of you. It is all you. It is just a model to understand what is happening inside you and how you can learn to love yourself. Every time you feel an emotion, this is your inner child talking to you. If you don’t have models of a Mother or Father, you need to learn how to create them. Call them your Trinity.
Loving yourself is listening to your Inner Child, taking his emotions seriously, understanding what he feels and taking action in the desired direction. Loving yourself is having this dialogue with yourself every morning when you open your eyes, every evening when you go to bed, and every time you have an emotion.
Loving yourself is building a strong inner connection with yourself. It is creating your own loving family, inside you. You will never feel alone anymore. You are already three!
Wherever you go, from now on you go with your Inner Family. Your are not alone. You are loved and you are protected. You listen to yourself and take care of that precious little Child that has been waiting for so long to get your attention and love.
Tom
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