Post by desertinbloom12 on Aug 2, 2009 2:47:57 GMT -8
I ended things with my latest PoA-- it was a short-lived "friendship" of about three weeks that got addictive really fast, and now I am feeling almost as bad as I did when I went through withdrawal from my previous, much longer relationship. This latest situation seems to have made all that flare up again(which I thought I'd made such progress on).
It seems that I have lost a friend because of my addiction to the latest person, as well. It's hard to say, but she is a relative of the PoA and things got complicated quickly. Now there is definitely distance between her and me... she was becoming one of my closest friends and I am just feeling so alone right now.
After all the work I did in the past year since breaking up with my ex, I feel like I'm back at square one. And I had a talk with my old sponsor tonight-- it seemed like she pointed out how much the disease has progressed for me, over and over.
Just feeling very hopeless and scared right now, and unable to sleep.
Hang in there. I understand how it feels to feel all alone and unable to sleep...geeze do I. It does seem that this shorter "friendship" triggered the loss of your last one. I know it hurts...you're not alone.
For me, real break-ups were very painful. But break-ups with people I didn't know very well were worse because I was breaking up with the fantasy-lover I'd super-imposed over him--and it's easier to super-impose what you want over what's real when you don't know a person.
You can do the same thing with someone you've known for a while, but in my case the real reasons for the break-up seemed to surface more often. I had three dimensional memories of the things I would NOT miss.