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Post by valryhart on Jan 13, 2010 16:12:08 GMT -8
Reading this explains so much. My last marriage was to a man who became addicted to prescription meds. He spent all our money, became so mean and lazy and I tried to fix it. I tried everything to make it work. I became angry, I pleaded, I stuffed it, I threatened. I was passive/aggressive.
I would do anything to make my marriage work and fix him. Untill he went to far and hurt me so bad and tried to distroy me for saying "NO" to him did I finally see how sick he and I were. I tried too hard to make it work that I became a person I didn't even know.
Life is so good now being in recovery. I now know that I pick mean, selfish men because that is who my Dad is and my brother. It only took me 54 years to figure this out but I have a new freedom and I know I am on the right track now.
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deebee
Junior Member
Posts: 86
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Post by deebee on Jan 15, 2010 13:12:13 GMT -8
valryhart...Good for you! I hope it's not to late for me to untangle the mess I have created in the past year. I thank God I am still alive.
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Post by jivamukti on Jan 23, 2010 13:11:11 GMT -8
greetings Valryhart,
Congradulations on stepping out of that relationship and into recovery. I find it amazing when I look at the person I was in the co-dependent love addicted relationship and it feels like I am looking at a stranger. One can do strange things in this illness.
I recently discovered the same connection to the men I fell in love with....they were all mirror images of my father.. In recovery, I look at it now as the POAs had to come into my life so I could resolve the conflicts I had with my alcoholic dad, as he passed away before I could understand this disfunction and why I acted and felt the way I did. In recovery, we don't have to make the same choices. Life looks beautiful again.
blessings,
jivamukti
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kat97
New Member
Posts: 17
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Post by kat97 on Feb 4, 2010 16:11:04 GMT -8
Wow,jivamukti you and i are going threw the same enlightening stage. after my dad died a yr. ago i realized the guys i was chasing after where just like him. Narcissistic and alcoholic or drug users.and took me till last month for the light bulb to come on. after a couple of realationships of disfunctional disasters. i am now picking up the pieces and getting it back together
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Post by rick on Mar 26, 2010 12:09:04 GMT -8
I go through good days, empowered and strong, and then am crawli9ng on the floor in agony. This disease is a serious disease. Cant talk about it in aa cause they all deny it there, even tho most have had it or have it today. hard to find support.
I am craving her today...wanna rush in where angels fear to tread...make sure she dont go out!! Make sure she still "loves me". So f---ng sick. I am so sick of it too. Its frida, everyones having funa nd good ol rick gets to suffer, be jealous, and grieve. sux
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Post by loveaddicted on Mar 26, 2010 13:16:27 GMT -8
rick you made laugh only because that is my Friday nights also. I usually try to go to a movie and I fill my weekends up so I do not have to be alone. By joining groups that go do things together or get out and just have fun with a social network like church. That is what I try to do. I know its hard but look at it its a night for you make it not so dreary. Enjoy your own company. I know your saying thats not fun but it can be peaceful. Usually Fridays I am tired from the week so a pizza and good movie would work for me. love
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Post by nolove4me on Mar 26, 2010 13:34:06 GMT -8
Rick, If it makes ya feel better, I am alone and not doing a darn thing. I do not even have a DVR or CD to watch movies! It gives us WAAAAY too much time on our hands. Why I spend so much of it here here. Trying to keep out of trouble and do the right things. I feel your pain. It does suck but you are not alone. Hope things get better for you today........
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