Therapy: Grieving romantic relationships...

I think you're on the right track with looking for a counsellor to help you work through your grief. you're also doing a great job of recognizing your patterns and the cause.

I experienced something similar when I left my husband of 17 years. I refused to grieve that loss because I didn't want to shed another tear for him. I cried nearly every other day for the last 14 years of our marriage. I thought I had done all the grieving I needed to do before I left. Wrong! I just found other men to grieve over. Thanks to my support group and a powerful little book called, "How To Survive The Loss Of A Love" by Howard Halpern I was able to stop that pattern.

I am just ending. or having her end for me, a sick relationship that has nearly cost me my life. Last nite she ran over my foot with her car, and then blamed me for it. I am tired of analyzing whats wrong with her, and why she doesnt show love, and have to start living myself. I have always been a loner LONER. And have not been able to socialize very well in my life and I get very intimidated if my gf's ever socialized, like I am going to be left behind. So i get one from ourside the 'herd' and try and control her, and in the end she controls me and I am left dangling on someone elses string.... while they have lives I obsess about why they dont call, while she has a life I worry about what she is thinking saying opr doing or even what she MIGHT be thinkiing saying or doing and with whom. Its so sick and I have to get well. I am setting up my supports and getting ready to dig in and stay away from her, not like she wants to see me anyway. She is abusive, mean, and uses my insecurities agaisnt me to hurt me. I must get well and thats why I am here.