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Post by Victorious on Feb 19, 2010 10:41:30 GMT -8
This is an experiment. I'm going to use this thread to communicate with my 13 year old inner child. Feel free to write to either of us if you like.
Dear 13 year old Inner Child,
I'd like to be your friend. Please tell me about yourself
V
Hi V,
My name is Cassie but you may as well call me Good For Nothing because that's what I am. I'm not good at anything - not sports or school or dancing or singing or games, NOT ANYTHING! I'm 13, I wear long shirts to hide my huge bum. I HATE these things growing on my chest. I don't fit in anywhere. I'm so boring, I'm invisible to people. I think I missed the announcement when God was giving out personalities.
I couldn't believe it when that cute boy was interested in me. For the first time since I was little someone noticed me and wanted to be with me. I wasn't invisible anymore. That's why when he broke up with me for not letting him touch me sexually I begged him not to. I told him I would let him do anything he wanted. I felt so worthless and naive when he broke up with me anyway. I knew he was a jerk but when he wanted me back, I couldn't stop myself from going back to him. Like a naive dog, I would do anything to get his sstuffs of attention. I let him touch me this time but he broke up with me again anyway. I am so ashamed of myself. He is probably laughing with his friends and telling them how easy I am. My skin crawls and I feel like puking when I think about that. How could I fall for him a third time? I am so pathetic.
Why do you even want to know me? I'm surprised you even knew I existed.
C
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Post by Victorious on Feb 26, 2010 13:07:24 GMT -8
To My Precious Cassie,
I can understand why you feel the way you do about yourself. You never heard much positive feedback about yourself, but your parents never missed a chance to tell you when you got it wrong. They were not balanced in their attempts to give you guidance. It seems like your only choices in relationships were being invisible, lonely and unloved or being seen, criticized and rejected. I am so sad for you. You have no idea how smart and beautiful you really are. I'm not just saying that to make you feel better either. You are a fascinating young lady! Not everyone is critical like your parents. If you come out of your cocoon you will find that there are lots of people who will see you for the gorgeous butterfly you are.
You do not have to settle for crumbs dropped to you by selfish people. When you believe you deserve more, you will see that there are people out there who will truly appreciate you for the gift you are.
I do SEE you and I love you Cassie. You can cry on my shoulder anytime. I won't tell you to suck it up. Sometimes we all feel sad and that's okay. I'm sorry for the times I have been hard on you. I know you always try your best. I don't expect you to live up to some unattainable standard
love and hugs,
V
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