Need advice!!!!!!! May 4, 2010 11:19:24 GMT -8
Post by Light on May 4, 2010 11:19:24 GMT -8
When I have my period I get angry with my husband.
There's a moment I literally explode blaming him for not doing this or that. He can't bear it anymore.
This time in the moment of anger I also said I had sex with my poa once.
It was about a months I was trying to tell him this but everytime I started to talk I sensed and he showed me he didn't want to know. But I felt I had to tell him.
This time he said he wants me to stay alone for a time. He moved to another apartment. This happened two days ago.
Normally when he says something like this I beg him to stay and normally he stays.
But this time I didn't beg, I didn'cry, I didn't pray. I said ok.
Maybe he is right. In 17 years we are together this happen almost every month. I lose control.
Yesterday I was in pain and in fear, I felt abandoned but I didn't call him or text him.
This morning he told me on the phone that he wants me to be alone for a while so I can understand he is not the origin of all my problems and I don't have to blame him.
Then he texted me he loves me. This gave me hope and strenght.
I don't know when or if he will come back but even if I have a certain fear and pain I want to use this time to be alone and to think.
There's another problem. Now that he is not with me (and I feel a little lost and alarmed) I think about my poa and i think about e mailing him and telling him I still love him and that my marriage is ending and maybe there's is a possibility for us.
I know this is not a good idea. From one side I would like to make the last attempt with my poa, from one side this thought dazes me and takes me far from reality and from the other side I feel this is not correct towards my husband and towards myself and towards good.
But this thought tempts me and in this moment of confusion and absence of my husband triggers me.
I feel by my side all the strenght I built during a year spent here on the board and with prayer.
But the temptation is sometimes strong and I needed to write down all this