Post by lonely1 on Jun 24, 2010 8:31:57 GMT -8
I've been in quite a few relationships . . .
Looking back:
- all based on my feeling I needed to earn the hug or kiss I got during the relationship.
- when I found a new friend...I'd patiently wait to hear something that would allow me to press my "I'll be your hero" button . . .off & running to help...so I feel I deserved the hug or kiss shared . . .
A history of getting girl frineds 'addicted' to what i can do for them...so they keep me around....and I keep girl friend !
They always end,,,girl gets tired of some attribute or attitude and says 'go now, bye'....
Now, I am in another relationship . . . 2 months now
BUT (the spooky part)
She has yet to say anything, hint anything, etc that gives me the urge to press the hero button to deserve !
Almost like : something not right here...someone really really likes me, and i ain't done squat...not bought, built, fixed, resoved, etc....
I can't beleive this lady likes me just because there's something about 'me' she likes.
What a weird feeling....to sense that my sense of self-worth is so low, I can't imagine 'just being liked'.....
What a weirder feeling : to start thinking of my self as a likeable guy, worth something as a person...not just based on what i can do....
Self acceptance...wow...what a concept...I love it.
Looking back:
- all based on my feeling I needed to earn the hug or kiss I got during the relationship.
- when I found a new friend...I'd patiently wait to hear something that would allow me to press my "I'll be your hero" button . . .off & running to help...so I feel I deserved the hug or kiss shared . . .
A history of getting girl frineds 'addicted' to what i can do for them...so they keep me around....and I keep girl friend !
They always end,,,girl gets tired of some attribute or attitude and says 'go now, bye'....
Now, I am in another relationship . . . 2 months now
BUT (the spooky part)
She has yet to say anything, hint anything, etc that gives me the urge to press the hero button to deserve !
Almost like : something not right here...someone really really likes me, and i ain't done squat...not bought, built, fixed, resoved, etc....
I can't beleive this lady likes me just because there's something about 'me' she likes.
What a weird feeling....to sense that my sense of self-worth is so low, I can't imagine 'just being liked'.....
What a weirder feeling : to start thinking of my self as a likeable guy, worth something as a person...not just based on what i can do....
Self acceptance...wow...what a concept...I love it.
