Post by libra on Jul 30, 2010 8:11:48 GMT -8
Well, I moved into my new place a month ago. I knew it was for the best when we both decided to do this, actually, she was stradling the fence on what to do, and I made the decision for both of us.
We'd lived together for 6 years and our relationship was off/on. The last 3 years, of the 6, we were not in a relationship, just friends, but it still felt like a relationship. We did things for each other, like couples did, but we were never intimate, sexually. We even dated other people, both of us getting jealous over the other's new love interest. Finally, I felt it was time that we parted ways, but only after she wanted to move because of the advice that other people was giving her. I also need to mention that there were some strong forces at work behind the scenes of our relationship. A majority of her friends and family did not like the fact that she was with a woman, and always offered their two cents. I believe strongly that was a major factor in the death of the relationship.
Anyway, I knew when we moved apart that I would have to have NC with her, but she kept coming to me. After I told her how I really felt about her and why it was important that we no longer talked, she still continues to contact me. Before it was just text messages, now it's phone calls at work. I don't understand. She is with a man now, she said that she is happy; her mother is happy because she is no longer in "the life", but now it's like she won't stay away. She talks to me about certain people she used to be with while we were living together, and she used to talk to me about her new boyfriend, but now she says that she doesn't feel comfortable talking to me about him. So I'm thinking, why are we continuing to talk at all?
I tried getting involved with someone else while we were still living together, you know, to help me get over her, but I only ended up hurting them....or at least that is what they said. They had someone on the side, but they wanted me to feel guilty for not loving them. Watever. Anyway, I'm not sure what to do next. My POA claims she wants to remain friends, but I don't see how that is possible. Her boyfriend feels that I am a threat and I don't like being made to feel like a dirty little secret. I am comfortable with not hearing from her, because every time I do, I end up analyzing what's wrong with her NEW relationship and trying to figure out why she keeps contacting me. If anybody can give me some advice, I would appreciate it.
We'd lived together for 6 years and our relationship was off/on. The last 3 years, of the 6, we were not in a relationship, just friends, but it still felt like a relationship. We did things for each other, like couples did, but we were never intimate, sexually. We even dated other people, both of us getting jealous over the other's new love interest. Finally, I felt it was time that we parted ways, but only after she wanted to move because of the advice that other people was giving her. I also need to mention that there were some strong forces at work behind the scenes of our relationship. A majority of her friends and family did not like the fact that she was with a woman, and always offered their two cents. I believe strongly that was a major factor in the death of the relationship.
Anyway, I knew when we moved apart that I would have to have NC with her, but she kept coming to me. After I told her how I really felt about her and why it was important that we no longer talked, she still continues to contact me. Before it was just text messages, now it's phone calls at work. I don't understand. She is with a man now, she said that she is happy; her mother is happy because she is no longer in "the life", but now it's like she won't stay away. She talks to me about certain people she used to be with while we were living together, and she used to talk to me about her new boyfriend, but now she says that she doesn't feel comfortable talking to me about him. So I'm thinking, why are we continuing to talk at all?
I tried getting involved with someone else while we were still living together, you know, to help me get over her, but I only ended up hurting them....or at least that is what they said. They had someone on the side, but they wanted me to feel guilty for not loving them. Watever. Anyway, I'm not sure what to do next. My POA claims she wants to remain friends, but I don't see how that is possible. Her boyfriend feels that I am a threat and I don't like being made to feel like a dirty little secret. I am comfortable with not hearing from her, because every time I do, I end up analyzing what's wrong with her NEW relationship and trying to figure out why she keeps contacting me. If anybody can give me some advice, I would appreciate it.