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Post by marajade70 on Aug 19, 2010 17:50:34 GMT -8
I'm still doing well with my phantom lover and he is helping through the withdrawels and highs from invasive thoughts of POA. Well, the following link I found to be interesting because I can set up what I want him to look like, age, etc. and get emails from him. persiankittens.net/Virtual/lover.htmDon't know if I will do it, but its something I will keep in mind. |
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Post by lovely1 on Aug 22, 2010 18:41:18 GMT -8
This is a great idea!!!
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Post by looking4direction on Nov 27, 2011 22:22:20 GMT -8
I want to try this, but I don't have the money.
Do I have to pay for this?
Carol
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Post by looking4direction on Nov 27, 2011 22:24:21 GMT -8
just looked again.
It costs money.
can't pay for this.
I might try something else.
Maybe send love emails to myself.
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Post by Susan Peabody on Nov 28, 2011 15:17:05 GMT -8
I adore imagination and use it a lot in my recovery. It is a way to massage new ideas into your old self.
My first phantom lover was God the Father, so it was kind of incestuous. But then I am an incest survivor so this is a natural fantasy for me prior to recovery.
One day I was looking at painting of Jesus Christ. I had never seen this particular picture and he was so sexy. I framed the picture and set it on my dresser with a picture of myself as a child. I wrote the poems, The Awaited Suitor, The Marriage, and The Lover.
The Awaited Suitor was about my love addiction. I pined away for the perfect man and found God instead. The Marriage was my commitment to Christ (like nuns do although I did not get myself a ring.) The poem The Lover was about some future human lover. I always wanted my first allegiance (husband) to be Christ).
When I fell in love with Sandra my phantom lover took a back seat to my Higher Power transformed into a spirit woman.
I met Spirit in the shower. I was praying and asked myself "Who am I praying to"" A sweet voice said, "I am a woman and my name is Spirit.
Fast forward to today.
My priority . . . God the Father, Christ the Son, Frank the lover.
Let your imagination evolve with your recovery. The mind is a terrible thing to waste.
Warning: Do not get addicted to fantasies. If they are not taking you somewhere in your recovery (transference or reinforcment) you have gone to far. In my book I talk about going to far and I list the signs to watch for.
brightertomorrow.net/poemhome.htm
My Name is Spirit 
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Post by margot on Nov 28, 2011 16:28:24 GMT -8
Interesting...........I'll have to read your book, have to order it. At one point I imagined my HP as my lover also.............he laughed and was delighted and then reminded me that he was not a he and not a she............that he was everything/everyone/everywhere/all the time.
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Post by looking4direction on Nov 13, 2012 19:47:22 GMT -8
I am going to try something: have a fantasy about someone I made up, with all the characteristics of my dream lover, instead of pining away on Anatoli.
He will still have a Russian name, he will have some of the characteristics of my PoA, but he will not be the same person.
I might airbrush his face (had a pic on my coputer) maybe change his eyes. So he won't look exactly like him. (Don't worry I will never post it in public; will keep it only for my own use!).
I am working on getting rid of this fantasy.
Carol
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