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Post by marajade70 on Aug 22, 2010 9:19:37 GMT -8
Yesterday it was one month since I snuck into my POA's FB to read his email and other personal information. Last Wed. was one month since I contacted him (in response to a text that gave me a "high", then felt naive about it).
I don't know sure sure if my self-esteem has improved. If it has, it is only in a small amount because I still long for him to contact me or to run into him looking while looking good. I'm just not acting on making it happen.
I think for a while, I will hope that he regrets what he has done, so that is one of the main motives (initially anyway) for me to appear "strong". Whatever ill he thought of me, I don't want to prove him right and justified for leaving. Hopefully my self esteem will improve where my ego desires to have him come crawling back will dissipate.
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Post by candee on Aug 22, 2010 9:51:35 GMT -8
Every little thing you do to empower yourself or enrich your life has a huge impact on self esteem,etc.Time will reveal the results.
Very very well done on a whole month.This is about the hardest thing to do.I commend you!
KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK
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Post by melodyrose on Aug 22, 2010 21:19:18 GMT -8
Good job! Proud of you and me. I have gone about 2 weeks or so without looking at FB. I have no doubt that feeling better all around is because of this action. I am freeing myself of any new thoughts of him and it feels good. I still struggle as you do with wanting him and yearning for him. That is pretty much a constant struggle. But I feel optimistic that this will fade with time also. It's so hard when you love someone and have to let them go. It is the hardest thing I have ever done. My mind races and I'm just so unsettled with having no closure of any kind.
I am trying to let that go and realize I won't be getting any. That is the way it is going to be I guess. I'm trying to focus on myself but it is so hard when my heart is still attached. I have to remember to nurture my little girl more often. She is at the core of me not letting go. I'll work on that. But good job with NC. I'm proud of you. You have come a long way since you joined the board.
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Post by EmoUnavail on Aug 23, 2010 4:06:39 GMT -8
Congratulations .... marajade
Reading your post i cant help but feel the same feelings as you do.
I too am getting past all the withdrawals with the help of some groovy little pink pills AND more importantly today marks my DAY 27 of NC. I still do the same things you do ....
I still long for her to contact me or to run into her when i look my best.
I hope that she regrets what she has done,
I Hope that my self esteem will improve where my ego desires to have him come crawling back will dissipate.
I guess to some degree, we all want that dont we ?
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Post by 4myself on Sept 19, 2010 7:51:37 GMT -8
I can only hope to be able to celebrate half of a month of NC. Congratulations. I never thought about adding no FB snooping to my self committment. This is what I love about this site. I make some sort of connection or come to a realization whenever I visit. I should also add visit this board at least once everyday, especially in the beginning. Thanks!
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