Triggered by the new semester

Lotus--

I totally understand where you're coming from. But remember, the path to recovery is up, down, up, down....it's not a smooth upward hill that takes you to a place of enlightenment. You are doing fine. If you don't have faith in an HP, have faith in YOU, that even though you are feeling triggered or slipping a little bit, you are gaining strength. All that you have learned to get you to this point cannot be unlearned! You simply have to gently pull yourself back to center. Don't entertain the fantasy. You have control over that. Don't add fuel to thoughts of the PoA. You are ONLY doing that because you are probably under stress. And when an LA is under stress, that's the first place of safety we go- fantasy, thoughts of PoA, etc.

You probably feel "exposed" too. Like a raw nerve. When I was first recovering I did really good with refusing to go back to fantasy and entertianing thoughts of the PoA. But then I felt strange and weird because I didn't have any defenses. I felt naked! How does a healthy person deal with stress? I thought my previous way was pretty clever. Just slip into fantasy! But sadly, that brought me no where.

Healthy people deal with stress by facing it. Plain and simple. Have faith in yourself that you can handle the stress, day by day, hour by hour. It's nothing you can't handle. Go easy on yourself. Take breaks. Breathe in...breathe out.

Does this make sense?

Hope you feel better. You're doing a great job!