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Post by lotus on Oct 20, 2010 18:45:16 GMT -8
Man, I really want to Google my POA right now. I guess I'm stressed about school and my husband had a bad day at work, so he's not really available. I also thinks it's because this Fall semester is the two year anniversary of our emotional affair. The change in weather reminds me of that time. Last year at this time I was a bawling mess, so I guess I have progressed.
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Post by mybestme on Oct 21, 2010 6:59:42 GMT -8
Hi Lotus...don't do it. I don't think you will..but dont. You've come so far. There is NO point and it will only potentially hurt you.
I have not cyberstaked in the week since he's been here. I'm so glad I have been able to do it. SO GLAD. It's closure.
You've had your closure for a while - the wound is healing so well, don't mess with it. Let it heal and go away.
MBM
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Post by lotus on Oct 21, 2010 8:14:38 GMT -8
I was feeling really panicky or something as I was trying to go to bed last night. So I decided to talk to my husband about how I was feeling. I dind't mention to him that I wanted to cybersnoop my POA, but I did talk to him about how I had been feeling lately, and it really helped! My husband is a good listener and he cares about me.
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Post by lotus on Oct 21, 2010 16:54:15 GMT -8
Feeling a strong romantic longing in general today. Must be the change in weather.
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Post by lovely1 on Oct 24, 2010 19:25:52 GMT -8
Lotus,
When I've cybersnooped, I'd FEEL awful. It was as if I was actually in his home, going through his things. My palms sweat, I look over my shoulder to see if I'm being watched, my heart pounds.
It's just not worth all of that. As mybestme said, PLEASE don't do it. It will just make you feel worse, not better.
And as you said, it's the change in season that has you feeling this way. The desire will pass if you don't feed it.
Stay strong.
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Post by mistergizzard on Jan 6, 2011 13:12:18 GMT -8
If anyone's read my post yet, I never met my POA. She was a girl I had a 4-month internet fling with 2 years ago...lived 8-hours and 2 states away.
Part of the reason I'm still not over could well be all the cyber snooping I did. At least every other week I was going to her Myspace page to see what sort of latest updates she had. Even new pictures of her were like gold to me. She never posted her relationship status so I never knew if she'd moved on to someone else after me. But what good did it do me? I would get so depressed after I looked, because it reminded me of the painful past, and then I would wonder why I wasn't over her.
Stay away. It's a hard fight, but worth it if you overcome.
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Post by brooklynberry on Jan 6, 2011 15:14:45 GMT -8
the cyberstalking takes me down every time. I am coming off of slipping a few days ago and it sucks! And I generally AM over these PoA's...it's just addiction pure and simple!
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Post by reinventmyself on Jan 6, 2011 15:18:48 GMT -8
I have my morning drill. . I check my previous ex's FB and their partners and the partners family members.
(NOT my recent POA, though. . that gives me immense anxiety)
I've been checking my ex's since in the beginning of FB s so much so it feels routine and natural.
<Blech>
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Post by mistergizzard on Jan 6, 2011 18:37:49 GMT -8
I got really crafty in mine. I looked her up on Twitter, but she had hers blocked so that only friends could read it. (I don't have a Twitter account). So I found her sister's, which is open to the public. I would read her sister's religiously to see if there were any updates on her herself.
In the end, all I did was make myself depressed. It's been a while since I last did it...sometimes the urge is strong but I have to remember that I have nothing to gain by doing it. All that looking is going to do is cause me pain and depression.
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Post by person on Jan 6, 2011 19:02:18 GMT -8
I also check his FB.
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Post by brooklynberry on Jan 6, 2011 20:17:58 GMT -8
For me I count checking anything online- fb, twitter, googling of my PoA OR their family and friends as contact. I'm seeking out new info on them and feeding the illness. The long I stay away from this stuff, the better I feel. I count days off if it. It's one sided contact and as addicts we try any loophole to get our fix. It's a lot easier for me to be honest about it bc now that I have stopped and made note of where I am when the urge comes I see great patterns.
But stopping any and all e-snooping is a big part of no contact for me!
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Post by mistergizzard on Jan 7, 2011 6:01:39 GMT -8
Absolutely true. This is the ugly side of the modern age. The internet has made it WAAAY too easy for us to feed our addictions and illness. It's so hard with FB, Twitter, etc., because all it takes is a few clicks and we can find all sorts of info, and the temptation is so strong.
In the end, it takes more willpower now than ever.
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Post by reinventmyself on Jan 7, 2011 9:04:27 GMT -8
my oldest son refused to sign up on FB until recently. He referred to it as `creeping' and didn't want any part of it. He's on it now. . but has all sorts of limitations to contacts and posting. Wise young man  |
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