Post by runrunrun on Dec 4, 2010 18:44:28 GMT -8
I started doing my inner child healing to get at the core of my codependency. I am remembering childhoohd issues that hurt. These are memories that are stuffed and never deaI klt with. I knew something went wrong in my childhood but couldnt put a finger on it. Now I am learning what went wrong.
I was raised by two uncaring alcoholics. Well they probably cared but not enough to do anything about it. I wasnt protected as a kid and left in precarious situations. The memories are surfacing.
I was bullied a lot by neighborhood boys. They used to hide and chase me home from school. Then there were these boys who threw rocks and me and my friends. We threw them back but one got me square in the forehead and caused a huge gash.
When I was 8 my parents wanted the kids out of the house so they could get a new kitchen floor installed. My mom dropped me off at a friends house on the other side of town. They didnt stay long enough to make sure my friends were home. Which of course they werent. So I walked home. 8 years old and on the other side of town. It took hours. By the time I got home the new floor was in and my mom didnt really even seem to care that I walked across town alone.
When I was 12 I had to fly alone to Los Angeles at Christmas time. My mom was to pick me up at the airport. My flight got diverted to a different airport and we were to be bused to the original airport. It was late at night. I was alone. Somehow I went through the wrong door and got locked outside the airport where planes parked. Fortunately someone saw me stuck out there and let me in. I managed to find a the bus to the original airport (LAX). When I got there there was no one there to pick me up. Many calls to my mom from a pay phone and hours waiting outside for my uncle to arrive. Fortunately a woman of about 20 years old saw my plight and decided to wait outside with me until my uncle arrived. It was about midnight when he did.
I was also left outside a locked school at night alone after a band concert that my mom never showed up to. After a long wait and many calls I was able to get ahold of my sister who came to pick me up.
I was scared a lot when I was young. I developed these leg tremors where my legs would just tremble violently while I was laying in bed at night. Those lasted for years. The tremors went away shortly after I moved away from home. I moved far away from home and have never returned. I ran away from my childhood and all its memories. Time to face the music and heal.
I know there was more and the memories will come to me. I am reading about inner child healing and am determined to recover. My inner child is scared and doesnt like coming out of hiding.
Runrunrun
I was raised by two uncaring alcoholics. Well they probably cared but not enough to do anything about it. I wasnt protected as a kid and left in precarious situations. The memories are surfacing.
I was bullied a lot by neighborhood boys. They used to hide and chase me home from school. Then there were these boys who threw rocks and me and my friends. We threw them back but one got me square in the forehead and caused a huge gash.
When I was 8 my parents wanted the kids out of the house so they could get a new kitchen floor installed. My mom dropped me off at a friends house on the other side of town. They didnt stay long enough to make sure my friends were home. Which of course they werent. So I walked home. 8 years old and on the other side of town. It took hours. By the time I got home the new floor was in and my mom didnt really even seem to care that I walked across town alone.
When I was 12 I had to fly alone to Los Angeles at Christmas time. My mom was to pick me up at the airport. My flight got diverted to a different airport and we were to be bused to the original airport. It was late at night. I was alone. Somehow I went through the wrong door and got locked outside the airport where planes parked. Fortunately someone saw me stuck out there and let me in. I managed to find a the bus to the original airport (LAX). When I got there there was no one there to pick me up. Many calls to my mom from a pay phone and hours waiting outside for my uncle to arrive. Fortunately a woman of about 20 years old saw my plight and decided to wait outside with me until my uncle arrived. It was about midnight when he did.
I was also left outside a locked school at night alone after a band concert that my mom never showed up to. After a long wait and many calls I was able to get ahold of my sister who came to pick me up.
I was scared a lot when I was young. I developed these leg tremors where my legs would just tremble violently while I was laying in bed at night. Those lasted for years. The tremors went away shortly after I moved away from home. I moved far away from home and have never returned. I ran away from my childhood and all its memories. Time to face the music and heal.
I know there was more and the memories will come to me. I am reading about inner child healing and am determined to recover. My inner child is scared and doesnt like coming out of hiding.
Runrunrun
