Post by reinventmyself on Dec 29, 2010 10:22:32 GMT -8
Recently dumped and trying to make sense of it all. I think a natural part of the process is to list all the things that I didn't like about him.
Interesting that I came across this thread because I think a huge issue for him is his relationship with his Mom. He is the second man I have dated who's divorced mother never remarried and fills that void by monopolizing her son and his life. Divorced men take advantage of grandma's help with the kids and home but the boundaries become blurred and the men end up recentful and feel guilty.
My most resent POA's mother calls several times a day, is anxious and helpless in alot of ways. She spends a day or two a week at his home when the kids are around and will drop in unannounced. She has the keys to his home and routinely goes there while he's at work and drops random items off. . Most recently he came home to find a new quilt on his bed!
One day while at my house his cell phone continued to ring with noone speaking on the other end. When I asked him what was going on he said it may be his mother?? She's had a history of trying to come between he and his relationships. (I still shudder at the thought)
His demeanor in her presense is tense and irratible. The tension in the room is incredible as his Mom rattles on and giggles endlessly.
I was noticing that when dealing with me he had very little patience at times and alot of limitations in emotional intimacy. I realized early on that I would be paying for the relationship with his mother.
I can't help but wonder if his pattern for dating and marrying much younger women than himself has something to do with this. Possibly a mature woman is too much like his mother.
I could go and on.
I'd be curious as to anyone's input or similar experiences.
Read more: laarecovery.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=pearls&action=display&thread=8334#ixzz19WgXyLrV
Interesting that I came across this thread because I think a huge issue for him is his relationship with his Mom. He is the second man I have dated who's divorced mother never remarried and fills that void by monopolizing her son and his life. Divorced men take advantage of grandma's help with the kids and home but the boundaries become blurred and the men end up recentful and feel guilty.
My most resent POA's mother calls several times a day, is anxious and helpless in alot of ways. She spends a day or two a week at his home when the kids are around and will drop in unannounced. She has the keys to his home and routinely goes there while he's at work and drops random items off. . Most recently he came home to find a new quilt on his bed!
One day while at my house his cell phone continued to ring with noone speaking on the other end. When I asked him what was going on he said it may be his mother?? She's had a history of trying to come between he and his relationships. (I still shudder at the thought)
His demeanor in her presense is tense and irratible. The tension in the room is incredible as his Mom rattles on and giggles endlessly.
I was noticing that when dealing with me he had very little patience at times and alot of limitations in emotional intimacy. I realized early on that I would be paying for the relationship with his mother.
I can't help but wonder if his pattern for dating and marrying much younger women than himself has something to do with this. Possibly a mature woman is too much like his mother.
I could go and on.
I'd be curious as to anyone's input or similar experiences.
Read more: laarecovery.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=pearls&action=display&thread=8334#ixzz19WgXyLrV
