Hello Paisley, Soulseeker and Reinvent....
This was just what I needed to read today.
Sometimes I talk to my girls about the Way to Happiness I was taught...You go to school..College..."right"job...then success and happiness happens..
If you do it "right" then it works... Say the right thing and people will like you.
Theres a whole world called Real Life that is happening when you get out of school and it's hard. Uggh! \
I have been holding the belief that if I say and do the "right"thing then they guy will like me...SO I try and try and the guys not interested...so I think I didn't do it right. I should have said or done something else. Then he would like me and want to be with me.
That's so unreal and Self diminishing.
When I used to hear" it's not you it's me" or friends would tell me" It's not you, it's him". I would nod like I get it, but I don't think I ever believed that until now.
I was still holding on to the belief I could have done better or if I was prettier or more Wonderful then they wouldn't say things like" It's not you it's me"....
There is this guy I think is neat and he is my age and does the same kind of work, I asked him if he was interested in helping do A Youth Conference with me( just an easy advisor role). I contacted him by email. Kept it friendly and inpersonal: he said yes he is interested and will let me know by the end of the week because he is caretaking his ailing Dad and it takes up his time. I checked my email every day, no response. Weekend came and went and I saw him Yesterday at Church and he avoided me, kept his head down.
He never wrote to say he couldn't do it... And I checked and double checked and triple checked that I had asked him "right". So this is a case of "It's him not me". He didn't let me know, now he avoids me.
Anyways, Part of me wants to email him today to let him know everything went well and it's okay that he didnt help and I hope he is well.
The other part of me is telling me to hold off, he was irresponsible by not giving me a response and now he's avoiding me..Thats his issue to work out .
I'm totally conflicted as to what the right thing to do is.... If I don't Fix this. Will it stay broken? Will it get worse? Is it my job to reach out?I have a "fantasy" that he is doing worse than me and then it's my place to reach out to him.
I am thinking about that statement " wrest satisfaction if I manage well".
I'm unsure how to manage with this...
I will make a plan to:
Pay attention to my feelings and my unrealistic desire to do the right thing for everyone...
I will at least hold off for the next 2 days before I make a decision to email him or not.... Thanks for listening!
