Post by reinventmyself on Apr 30, 2011 9:37:58 GMT -8
The temptation to date waxes and wanes.
I honestly think I need more time and distance from even thinking of it.
I was home sick last week and naturally being bored triggers me to feel uncomfortable with the space and wanting to fill it up.
Right of wrong (for me) I posted a profile with the notion of testing myself to take my time and do things differently.
I have spoken and emailed a man for the past week. I've also been journaling about what I can see and feel and what my intuition is telling me about this person.
Typical experience. . this man hasn't met me but he is beginning to fantansize that I am his ideal. . Quickly bordering on being innapropriate
Nothing lured but clearly too early to tell me that he's thinking about me and wondering what it might be like if we were a couple.
Remember . .this man has NOT even met me! Uhg.
For me . .if I am honest. .This is typically where I trip up. . knowing it's not appropriate but craving the idea that someone. . (anyone?) WANTING me. It's like a sedative like drug.
I've made a list of pros/cons about this person just based on our conversations. . Feels like a science project.
I mentioned how utterly exhausted I was yesterday afternoon and couldn't wait to rest this weekend.
Somehow.. . this stranger thought it was appropriate to text me twice at 4:30 am this (saturday) mornng!
Need I say more. . .
In the past I might have been flattered.
I want to add that I have caught myself considering what I would say to him to change this behavoir of his. .I don't know this man but instead of just sitting on my hands and watching and paying close attention I want to tell him not to be innapropriate and coach him on behaving in a way that makes me feel comfortable to move closer. . But NO. .not this time. .It's more important for me to keep quiet and watch and make a decision based on who he is showing me.
He wants to meet. So when my feet are put to the fire. .I feel tired. .I feel like I don't need to drama. . all that comes with the excercize and not ready to go there. .at least not now. (considering it before the texts but definitely not now)
I honestly think I need more time and distance from even thinking of it.
I was home sick last week and naturally being bored triggers me to feel uncomfortable with the space and wanting to fill it up.
Right of wrong (for me) I posted a profile with the notion of testing myself to take my time and do things differently.
I have spoken and emailed a man for the past week. I've also been journaling about what I can see and feel and what my intuition is telling me about this person.
Typical experience. . this man hasn't met me but he is beginning to fantansize that I am his ideal. . Quickly bordering on being innapropriate
Nothing lured but clearly too early to tell me that he's thinking about me and wondering what it might be like if we were a couple.
Remember . .this man has NOT even met me! Uhg.
For me . .if I am honest. .This is typically where I trip up. . knowing it's not appropriate but craving the idea that someone. . (anyone?) WANTING me. It's like a sedative like drug.
I've made a list of pros/cons about this person just based on our conversations. . Feels like a science project.
I mentioned how utterly exhausted I was yesterday afternoon and couldn't wait to rest this weekend.
Somehow.. . this stranger thought it was appropriate to text me twice at 4:30 am this (saturday) mornng!
Need I say more. . .
In the past I might have been flattered.
I want to add that I have caught myself considering what I would say to him to change this behavoir of his. .I don't know this man but instead of just sitting on my hands and watching and paying close attention I want to tell him not to be innapropriate and coach him on behaving in a way that makes me feel comfortable to move closer. . But NO. .not this time. .It's more important for me to keep quiet and watch and make a decision based on who he is showing me.
He wants to meet. So when my feet are put to the fire. .I feel tired. .I feel like I don't need to drama. . all that comes with the excercize and not ready to go there. .at least not now. (considering it before the texts but definitely not now)