Summing Up the Inner Child

Wow! I just had this same realization...just this morning while kinda meditating, I saw my Inner Child standing a little ways in front of me. She turned sideways to look at me, and I called her because I knew she was just standing there so confused by all the "Adult Choices" surrounding her. I wanted her to come to me, so I reached out for her. I realized she was like an energy illusion, or like a ghost made of shimmering fairy dust when I hugged her, she kinda dissolved into me. [hard to really describe]

I got this same realization: "together we can do anything", and now I am reading it here on your post just a few hours later. The thing is, with this realization, I also got really afraid.
I'm afraid of the possibilities, I'm afraid of just the two of us going it alone. Yes, I Believe and I know for sure, there's nothing we can't do…”together”. But this freedom is scary today. I'm afraid of the Power. All these years, there's always been someone controlling us, telling us what to do, guiding us, feeding us the answers. Now "together" there’s so much we can do.

It's Scary! Thanks so much for confirming my vision today. I've been such a big ol' 'fraidy cat, all my life. Cowardly letting my Inner Child lead us...maybe today will be a turning point if I can just hold on to this strength and REALization.

Thank you so much for sharing this with us, Susan.
Recently my H.P. has been bringing a similar message into my life. That my depression is closely related to my emotions addictions and i need to deal it through E.A.

Welcome Caroclean,

Glad you have found the board and the info about inner child work.

There is so much here to read and learn. You can post your story in the newcomers thread if you would like to.

Post often and best to you on the journey of recovery.

beautiful

I realize there are different ages for our inner child, today I realized i have three dominant age groups- one seems to be around 3 or so years old. She has big dow eyes and full of innocent glee. She is happily helpless and looks to authority figures for approval and comfort. She is happy go lucky, always smiling, always cheerful, always humming a pleasant tune. She loves the spotlight, and making people laugh.

Somewhere in there is the nervous one, she is always second guessing herself and becomes so nervous when faced with a task--any task even those she does often that she can't concentrate--she automatically becomes anxious & self conscious making it hard to function. Authority figures, namely adult women make her even more nervous. She is extremely timid, and hates the spotlight. I have no idea how old she is, she is the one present the most.

Next is the adolescent me. She is the "mean" one, she's been hurt and she knows it. She can shut off her emotions in an instant, and rarely smiles. She is very stand offish and doesn't trust people her age. She isn't intimidated by authority figures- infact, she doesn't like them, she has a major attitude against them. She is the pesimist and thinks everyone has a hidden agenda and is full of sh*t. She has a chip on her shoulder and everyone else is at fault for her problems. She stays isolated and pushes people away who get to close to her. Her appearance is dirty and unkept ( like that of a homeless person) she has a lot of pain but it is all hidden behind angst. I think this is how I behave when I am dating( depending on the guy). She's the only one I've actually enviosiones clearly. The other two or more faint in terms of their appearance, but some how I still came to recognize them and the youngest one looks nothing like me. But this adolescent one looks exactly the way I looked at that age. Sometimes I see her as I am now. Whenever I see her she is sitting behind a shelf in my 7th grade science class. She has one leg bent, and one straight out. Whenever ( I, the current me) comes to visit her she shows no emotion, no reaction, she slightly looks over and then goes back to looking straight forward. She wouldn't talk to me at all when I first start my IC work, but it has improved. She hugged me once and it resulted in me crying hysterically while "holding her".

More recently, the one i feel most is the "helpless me" she is so scared of all the challenges and changes around her, especially at work--she always looks for someone to assure her or tell her that she can do it.

I don't know how to reach that one--she is the most afraid. I want her to know that everything is ok--I need to work more on parenting her and letting her know that the adult me needs to be in control at work, so i function.

This IC stuff is hard to explain without sounding like there's multiple personalities---thank goodness i have you guys to talk about this with. Everyone else would assume i was crazy!

Anyway, any tips for parenting or guiding my IC to be less timid and fearful acting at work???

Hey mgb, how are you?!

Thanks for your response, yeah we to seem to be similar lol but this has been the first time i've been able to put my IC into words, it all became so clear to me this week while facing some things at work. Once it became clearer I rushed here to share it lol

How have you been?

No problem, think you for reading/responding! Your walk sounds excellent, I totally pictured a little girl walking through the leaves in gum books, what an awesome discovery! I'm glad you're back to recovery, I will start my CoDa meets again soon, just waiting to see what my work schedule will be now that I'm officially out of training.

Hi Susan. Thank you for having this section. I'm new here and very scared. I've come a long way in recovery from trauma and addiction, but this is an area I haven't ventured into until now and it makes me cry instantly.

During my EMDR sessions with my therapist, I was first introduced to the concept of an inner child. When each session was concluding, she would have me hug and comfort my inner child. It felt kind of good but not whole hearted. If you read my introduction post you'll understand why I keep so much bottled up inside.

No one has responded to me yet, and I'm not sure what to make of this place. I'd like to think I'm on the right track.

Thanks again.

Thank you so much for responding. It just feels good to know someone is here listening. My therapist released me from care about a year and a half ago, and I don't attend any local codependent meetings. I live in a fairly remote location and have an odd schedule as well. Online support is really my only option.

Does anyone have suggestions for online codependent support?