Post by tizzy on May 14, 2011 22:21:36 GMT -8
This article was so good I had to post it on here.
www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/im-not-good-enough-the-world-through-a-low-self-esteem-lens/
My self-esteem is something I've had to work hard on during my recovery. Much to my surprise, when I first began my recovery I learned that I had a very very very very low self-esteem. And it was so surprising because I always thought of myself as the opposite--a woman with a lot of self-love and a high degree of self-worth. But upon reflection I found that while I was aware of my accomplishments in life, and while I did think I was a great person with all these wonderful qualities and talents, I still lacked confidence in what I felt I had to offer people, and I felt like I somehow wasn't "good enough." I wasn't "good enough" for a better job. I wasn't "good enough" for a better man or relationship. I wasn't a "good enough" mommy. I wasn't a "good enough" friend/sister/daughter. My abysmal self-esteem made me feel like I didn't deserve a whole lot at all.
I now understand that a lot of that way of thinking was established during my childhood, when my accomplishments (and there were many) went totally ignored by my parents, and when I was even told that what I did achieve just wasn't good enough. I would try so hard to please and end up being rejected, belittled or ignored. It was very painful, and it was a feeling that carried over into my adult life. I would try so hard to please because I wanted people to see that I was good enough.
This thinking that I'm not good enough and don't deserve better has really been hard to overcome but as I set goals, and work on loving myself and setting boundaries and being grateful for what I do have in my life, I am finally learning what it means to love myself and have esteem in who I am. Because I feel better about myself I am starting to feel that yes, I do deserve better and I will aim for better. And I can get better. I finally am at a point where I feel i am worthy of healthy relationships and healthy people in my life. I am worthy of healthy love, not destructive love or a lop-sided relationship. I am worthy of respect. It IS possible for people to like me and even love and appreciate me for who i am, just the way I am. I AM GOOD ENOUGH. It took a lifetime to get to this point but I am glad I have finally reached it. I am seeing the world thru a new lens.
www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/im-not-good-enough-the-world-through-a-low-self-esteem-lens/
My self-esteem is something I've had to work hard on during my recovery. Much to my surprise, when I first began my recovery I learned that I had a very very very very low self-esteem. And it was so surprising because I always thought of myself as the opposite--a woman with a lot of self-love and a high degree of self-worth. But upon reflection I found that while I was aware of my accomplishments in life, and while I did think I was a great person with all these wonderful qualities and talents, I still lacked confidence in what I felt I had to offer people, and I felt like I somehow wasn't "good enough." I wasn't "good enough" for a better job. I wasn't "good enough" for a better man or relationship. I wasn't a "good enough" mommy. I wasn't a "good enough" friend/sister/daughter. My abysmal self-esteem made me feel like I didn't deserve a whole lot at all.
I now understand that a lot of that way of thinking was established during my childhood, when my accomplishments (and there were many) went totally ignored by my parents, and when I was even told that what I did achieve just wasn't good enough. I would try so hard to please and end up being rejected, belittled or ignored. It was very painful, and it was a feeling that carried over into my adult life. I would try so hard to please because I wanted people to see that I was good enough.
This thinking that I'm not good enough and don't deserve better has really been hard to overcome but as I set goals, and work on loving myself and setting boundaries and being grateful for what I do have in my life, I am finally learning what it means to love myself and have esteem in who I am. Because I feel better about myself I am starting to feel that yes, I do deserve better and I will aim for better. And I can get better. I finally am at a point where I feel i am worthy of healthy relationships and healthy people in my life. I am worthy of healthy love, not destructive love or a lop-sided relationship. I am worthy of respect. It IS possible for people to like me and even love and appreciate me for who i am, just the way I am. I AM GOOD ENOUGH. It took a lifetime to get to this point but I am glad I have finally reached it. I am seeing the world thru a new lens.
