... so confused

Yes! this definitely could be your inner child. Whatever personifies our pain or anger is our inner child.

I believe in spirits. Not everyone does.

I don't know who your friend was or why she lived in that part of your home.

I don't know if she is an image of your inner child or something else.

I can share with you about my inner child work a little.

It was suggested by a therapist and it went something like this:

You know when you look out of yourself through your eyes - from the inside how old are you?

Sometimes you might seem little, or childlike. That part of us is very important - especially if it has been harmed and no one has ever taken time to help it heal.
so we attempt to get in touch with it to soothe suffering and allow for restortion of beauty that wants to be.

I got a doll that reminded me of me as a child. ( I know this may sound goofy but it works.) I got a Ramona rag doll and took off the foofy dress and put on a sweater and pants and some silly shoes like I used to wear. I gave her a few freckles and she looked kinda like me as a kid.

then I talked with her every day.

I got myself to stay still and listen to the dialog between me now and her then.

I talked to her about all the things that happened when I was a kid. how I felt about it and them etc...I listened to the little voice inside...I got out real life pictures of myself as a child and looked at them and talked to them. I told the child that I loved her and would protect her. I told her that I would not let those things happen to her again. then I allowed myself to feel what she felt and be there- just be present to it. I allowed myself to feel for her as an adult would feel for a child in a healthy way. In time I began to tell her nice things, and acknowledge good things about her that no one else had. We learned to laugh together.

Then even more difficult, I went through this same process with my adolescent self.

There was healing happening. I was not in relationship with anyone at the time.

Then I got into another love addicted relationship. He was more important. I didn't listen to her. Didn't take time for her. She hurt all over again. In so many ways she was going through the same things, same feelings and I wasn't being there for her - myself - the part of myself most vulnerable- now I was the adult who had promised to be there and take care and had abandoned her - abandoned myself. AND inside I cried -just like back then..
And I wanted this POA to be kind to her when I couldn't.

You see how mixed up it gets. I practically lost my very soul.

THIS IS WHERE I KNEW THAT I HAD TO DEAL WITH MY LOVE ADDICTION. I COULDN'T LOVE MYSELF AND CARE FOR MYSELF UNTIL I DID.

So, soul retrieval time. inner child work is like retrieving our souls. It is sorrowful and sweet because it is where we heal deeply.

Your friend who came to visit may have been an image of your inner child or perhaps ( as you suggested) a spirit who was there for you when times were so difficult.

You may never know for sure. Only doing the work would possibly tell.

I hope this helps and doesn't confuse you more.

xxbluebird

Hi Susan,
Yes, I've read beloved. Years ago. I've had my own visitors at times in my life.
Oddly enough you are the second person to ask that question this week. (the other person -completely unrelated to all this.)

One of the beginning lines caught me - I remember it as-
"I opened my knees wide as the grave."

That's what it felt like to go back to an addictive relationship and neglect my inner child.

A new friend in recovery tells me that our sexual self is the very last to heal. It belongs to the world of adults and until the child is tended to and cared for it is vulnerable. And how many of us go to the POA looking for comfort in that way.

Once again, I am so grateful for this board, the reminders, and the opportunity to heal and share in a safe place.

Winter,
Its ok if the inner child stuff is confusing right now. No need to get it all right away.
You are willing to look and work so it will come in time.

bluebird