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Post by caroclean on Jul 4, 2011 12:16:11 GMT -8
Sometimes I feel like I am a little child, I have been thinking that she is my inner child, I do not know, but anyways I think is cool. My inner child is an amazing girl, she surprised of everything, she is a really happy person, she smiles and she is very very very very very very very spoiled. But anyways, today I was accompanying my father to do some shopping and I just felt not only that I was acting like a little child, also that she is always delighted with my daddy. He loves me so much, and I love him so much , but when I felt that I am acting like this little child, I noticed some feeling, it seemed like I was in love with him, with my daddy, it is really strange and crazy , don't you think?? It is really strange, I have not seen or noticed that before ...........
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Post by LovelyJune on Jul 5, 2011 2:29:59 GMT -8
I think we all carry our child-like nature within us and that it's absolutely OK when it pops up and exposes itself. However, you are an adult. And adults need to be making decisions, not the child within us. The trouble with love addicts sometimes is that we remain anchored in our child-like ways. We make decisions with our hearts and our emotions instead of our heads and this gets us into huge trouble, mainly because emotions cannot make logical, safe decisions.
Enjoy the child within you, but as Susan Peabody always says, don't give her the keys to the car! The adult in you needs to do the driving.
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Post by Freetolive on Jul 5, 2011 2:35:14 GMT -8
I think we all carry our child-like nature within us and that it's absolutely OK when it pops up and exposes itself. However, you are an adult. And adults need to be making decisions, not the child within us. The trouble with love addicts sometimes is that we remain anchored in our child-like ways. We make decisions with our hearts and our emotions instead of our heads and this gets us into huge trouble, mainly because emotions cannot make logical, safe decisions. Enjoy the child within you, but as Susan Peabody always says, don't give her the keys to the car! The adult in you needs to do the driving. Yeah, mine loves to drive. I like to be around little children. Then my inner child gets to play and make them giggle. My neighbor said, "they think you are a big kid" little do they know. I love this inner child stuff. It seems to answer a lot of questions I've had over the years.
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Post by caroclean on Jul 5, 2011 4:25:29 GMT -8
Great you start to love your IC free, I am working on it. Thank you Lovely Jean your comments have helped a lot on this, You are completely right .... I am curious , did you have to solve problems of your IC? I am asking you this because I noticed that I have never overcame the Oedipus complex
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Post by Bo on Jul 5, 2011 5:38:55 GMT -8
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Post by caroclean on Jul 5, 2011 19:37:25 GMT -8
Thank Bo. I will read it. I have many question, and I know I will have some answers after reading it. Thank you
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Post by LovelyJune on Jul 6, 2011 2:28:35 GMT -8
I really woke up one day and realized that I was operating almost exclusively on my emotions (the child side of me) and that I was not utilizing my logical brain (the adult side of me). I was doing this because I was unable to recognize my own personal growth. I was stunted.
I think many addicts are stunted. When they were children or teenagers something happened where they were never allowed to grow up. In my case, my father was an alcoholic, so I became a caretaker of him when I was very young. It's partly my nature to care-take too. And so when I grew up, I remained in that phase because I felt I HAD TO.
But when I went through recovery something in me clicked and I realised I was too old to be acting like a child and it's no wonder I was in the mess I was in. I also realised it was time to step up to the plate and take care of myself. We act like children, after all, because we refuse to take care of ourselves. The moment you realize it's time to take care of yourself and you start to live a more responsible life, you change.
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Post by caroclean on Jul 6, 2011 5:33:21 GMT -8
Thank you Lovely June . I think I am stunted because many of my behaviors that I do are because my emotions said. My family have loved me so much. And although I have 23 years old my brother treat me like a baby, he said that I am the baby of the house, and my father allows me to do whatever I want, well in most of the things . So I think that has been a fact that I did not want to grow up. My mother died 8 years ago, so I was a teenager when that happened, I do not know if that caused a change inside me who stopped my natural grow. These times I have been noticed that my love to my father and my brother has increased a lot, and I let my brother to tell me those cute and nice things like if I were a little child. So, even I have lived not good moments in my life, right now I have a beautiful home, but there will be something inside of me that I don't want to face and change to start handle my life as an adult, especially in the social part (relationships) .
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Post by LovelyJune on Jul 8, 2011 2:28:15 GMT -8
I think the death of a parent has a huge impact people. Especially if it happened when you were a teen. Don't be so hard on yourself, and yet, know that becoming an adult is not a scary thing. It is a wonderful thing, even if it means having to face pain and suffering.
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Post by caroclean on Jul 8, 2011 4:46:32 GMT -8
Thank you LJ. I have been thinking in all these things and I noticed that I need to act as an adult, is kind of difficult but is not impossible. Anyways right now I am not living a really goods days, my new mom has been really worried about the health of her mother, and that is affecting in some how my family, and I recevied bad news yesterday about my health that makes me felt so down. Thank God, I have my NA meeting, because that gave me a little peace yesterday and a lot of support. Unfortunately I do not know how is going to be my future, I do not know. But anyways I pray God to continue just the way I have been acting, that even he gave me this difficulties in my life, I would like to think that I have lived worst situations in my life so these are much better and I can deal with it. That is what I want to think. Thank you for your help, support and hearing.
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