I was born into a family of alcoholism That says a lot right there. My father divorced my mother when I was two years old and then he married the baby sitter. My mother was the alcoholic, no one else had any problems, LOL. My step mother had come from a violent home and our home was no different. The physical abuse; beatings, being thrown through windows and the sliding glass shower door etc. My stepmother would throw my one real brother and I out of the house on a regular basis. My father would never stick up for us. One day walking home from school I was raped, age ten. I was a mess but I was sent to a home run by the nuns for unfit girls. I was born in 1956 and this occurred in 1966, so we can appreciate the progress that has been made in rape and assault. I began drinking at age 20. I made it to AA at age 37 and have had continuous sobriety since. I have also been in Alanon for 5 years. I have seen a counselor and MD for many years for depression. At age 42 I was diagnosed with Bipolar type II. I have been disabled since then but have been able to spend more time on recovery.
Post by Susan Peabody on Jul 1, 2008 11:13:15 GMT -8
What a horrific experience. Do you know much about PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder). I have it as a result of a rape, but I was not a child. I can't even imagine being raped at 10. I am glad you are in counseling and we are so happy to have you on this board.
how brave to just put it out there like that. you must be really ready to heal.
we have much in common. I hit the wall but missed the window, was 15 not 10, sober at 29 -continuous sobriety in AA since then, and diagnosed PTSD mid 30's and prescriptions during my mid 40's. we were both born in 56.
I'm sure that with all we have in common that is painful, there will be much more that is wonderful and bright and new that we will discover about ourselves in recovery.
years from hell - aptly put. There was no alcohol in my home -we did all that dry. The alcohol factor - for you - undoubtedly created much to live through and move beyond.
The very best part of recovery is that when we are ready we can begin to write a new script, live out a new role, and as you know - work with a new Director.
I am so glad you've found us. that is a very painful past and the love addiction part - for me - has been the missing link. the part that I kept missing or refusing to deal with.
You are so welcome to work the steps around Love Addiction here, with us. You will find great support and, I hope, a new peace.
Last Edit: Jul 1, 2008 19:08:08 GMT -8 by bluebird
Thanks so much for all of your support. I must say that I have been healing since I was about 18. I have been in therapy since. The leaps and bounds came when I began 12 step work so I am looking forward to working the 12 steps here. There is not a meeting for miles out here. Thank God for internet.
I forgot about PTSD yes I do have it. And I have problems with sleep walking at times. That was not determined until 1993. PTSD was all about veterans, but now there is treatment for us. Life is much better today. I thank all the people who pioneered to make recovery for all of us today. When self pity hits me, I think of all the people who went before me with no treatment and no tools. I pray that there souls are in a wonderful place.
I myself was diagnosed with PTSD, probably to many years to late. I was raped by my brother at the age of 8 and never talked about it. When my mother found out at the age of 16, she shrugged it off as boys will boys type of deal or he was just going through puberty type of deal. It was a problem never dealt with and now my mom tells me I shouldn't blame her or my brother for my current problems. That I should take responsibility for my own actions.
In a way she was right. I can't continue to do things wrongs because I still hold anger, etc inside of me but at the same time I am still so mad because in my opinion there should have been something done by my parents at the time that I was under their care.
Anyway, I started this to say that I am glad to hear that you are doing/getting better. It's not an easy life any of us live and those who have never been in our shoes don't seem to understand it. I can strongly say that even though I am new here, you have my support 100%, along with anyone who might read this. Support is the only thing that gets me through my days and I'm sure it's the only thing that gets some of you through yours!
Congrats on sobriety!
"What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly." ~ Richard Bach