Post by liveandlearn on Sept 25, 2011 8:32:53 GMT -8
Hi sunshine!
I can understand how you feel about feeling more shame when you're actually trying to get rid of it. However, in some weird way it seems like it does take some type of catharsis to be able to let go and move on so keep telling yourself those positive assertions and realize things will get better if you keep telling yourself they will.
Truthfully, I haven't been focusing too much on this lately. I do have some books on reclaiming my inner child/adolescent that I've started reading since feelings of shame frequently emanate from growing up. However, they aren't things you can read through from one end to the other in a day or two. In fact, one of them suggests going through the book over a period of 3-5 years! The reason is that after reading a bit, it takes weeks and sometimes months to work its way through and sink in. In fact, it becomes really hard to keep reading unless you do this (at least for me) because the emotions become overwhelming. Eventually, after plenty of time for reflection and acceptance, you're able to continue on and repeat the process. Of course, it helps to be patient, especially with yourself because sometimes it takes a long time to process everything.
That's where I'm at currently: thinking, slowly processing, and waiting until I feel comfortable enough to do some more reading and some more work.
Another book that may be good for you if you are finding that you are having lots of negative intrusive thoughts is Self Esteem by Matthew McKay and Patrick Fanning. There are lots of books on this subject but I liked how this one explained why we keep telling ourselves these negative things and how that behaviour gets reinforced. I haven't read the whole book yet but just the introductory chapters were really helpful in trying to overturn the constant negative thoughts that can take over our minds!
Cheers!
I can understand how you feel about feeling more shame when you're actually trying to get rid of it. However, in some weird way it seems like it does take some type of catharsis to be able to let go and move on so keep telling yourself those positive assertions and realize things will get better if you keep telling yourself they will.
Truthfully, I haven't been focusing too much on this lately. I do have some books on reclaiming my inner child/adolescent that I've started reading since feelings of shame frequently emanate from growing up. However, they aren't things you can read through from one end to the other in a day or two. In fact, one of them suggests going through the book over a period of 3-5 years! The reason is that after reading a bit, it takes weeks and sometimes months to work its way through and sink in. In fact, it becomes really hard to keep reading unless you do this (at least for me) because the emotions become overwhelming. Eventually, after plenty of time for reflection and acceptance, you're able to continue on and repeat the process. Of course, it helps to be patient, especially with yourself because sometimes it takes a long time to process everything.
That's where I'm at currently: thinking, slowly processing, and waiting until I feel comfortable enough to do some more reading and some more work.
Another book that may be good for you if you are finding that you are having lots of negative intrusive thoughts is Self Esteem by Matthew McKay and Patrick Fanning. There are lots of books on this subject but I liked how this one explained why we keep telling ourselves these negative things and how that behaviour gets reinforced. I haven't read the whole book yet but just the introductory chapters were really helpful in trying to overturn the constant negative thoughts that can take over our minds!
Cheers!