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Post by sunflwrs4evr on Jul 13, 2011 7:19:37 GMT -8
well...it happened....my inner child kept reaching out for me.....i was running from her my whole life....and we finally embraced.again but this time it was very different..i kept having these feelings of trauma.....and i kept having flash backs....into my childhood....and so many incidents were coming up....i was so scared....this has been continuous off and on for a couple of weeks....and finally today.....i was feeling it stronger and stronger....and i was tired of running and running and running...and then i made a call....and got support and then ..tried really hard to just stay with it...I brought God in with me....i got on the floor and cried and cried and cried and realized I didnt die yet...i am still here...and again...i cried deeper and deeper..and i started to reach out to my inner child.... i had an urge to get paper and i wrote down on paper some questions with using my right hand...and then my inner child wrote using the left hand....and boy...i will tell u...she was pisst at me...she told me i wasnt listening to her and i kept running from her....i apolized to her....and embraced her and promised i would always protect her and make her feel safe..and i feel so freaky....free...now....wow....that was awesome.........i can do this....i believe that God did this for me....i brought him in with me right before doing this inner child work....and when i brought it to group with me last night....the therapist said...this is what happens when we put down our addictions...we have awesome break throughs.....wow...i cant wait to see how i feel in the morning.......I would love to hear other shares about how they did their inner child work....and the feelings surrounding it...Sun  |
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Ophelia
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It's a new day........
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Post by Ophelia on Jul 13, 2011 11:29:36 GMT -8
Sunny, If you listened to her this time, what did she tell you, other than that you were running away?
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Post by sunflwrs4evr on Jul 13, 2011 18:53:00 GMT -8
she told me i didnt and i dont ever listen to her.....she was exactly right...no one ever listened to me...and so therefore i didnt listen to other people....in fact that came out in therapy a couple of weeks ago....i just didnt think that i had my child's inner voice in me like that....i was ignoring her all my life and putting everyone ahead of her....and she was pisst at me...that was kinda scary....it took awhile for us to embrace..i had to make amends.....today.....she kept coming up....and she wanted to spend time with me....so i set aside some time....and i looked at picture when i was young....i was in a park...and standing in front of a tree....and we started running and playing around the tree....i hope i am not losing my mind....but this is really happening....it was the most awesome feeling in the world....
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Post by sunflwrs4evr on Jul 15, 2011 8:12:17 GMT -8
and yesteday i was feeling angry.....she wants all this attention....and i wanted just to be alone.....after making a phone call and someone could relate with me....thank God...more was revealed to me....because this is what everyone did to her...growing up...they were in their own world....and didnt want any parts of her...no attention...no love....and i am getting in touch with that as we speak......sitting with these feelings....are very scary....
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Post by Bo on Jul 15, 2011 10:46:20 GMT -8
Thanks for sharing your experience. I thought I only had one Inner Child, and then later I discovered there was another one. My emotional experience was similar. I believe the IC is the way our brain has stored information that we use to base our behavior on. I don't think we're going crazy.
The most important key issue I discovered in my IC work was that now, today, I am responsible for giving the IC all the Love, Approval, Support and Protection she wants and needs, and on top of it all there is a Power Greater than both me and my IC that provides us Spiritual Strength, nourishment and guidance. There was never a hole in my Soul; there were just places I'd never dare to look into.
Now that those dark places are filled with light, my Recovery Grows Strong from the Inside Out. Thanks again for sharing you experience.
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Post by Bo on Jul 15, 2011 10:51:05 GMT -8
p.s. now when I inhale deeply, it feels wonderful becuase I inhale into those deep dark places I never knew existed (where the IC hid). I am Living and breathing more fully and more fulfilled now. (I just pray it will last, and I think it will as long as I stick to daily, daily, daily prayer and meditation and meditation and meditation). It really feels wonderful!
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Post by sunflwrs4evr on Jul 16, 2011 7:48:46 GMT -8
thank u so much Bo.....you said another one....how many do we have....i am glad to know i am not losing it....and your welcomed.....and i appreciate you sharing yours...because this very unknown territory for me...i am at an awe...realizing...that she has been with me all of my life and i was too busy...with people...places and things.....I agree...i am responsible to give her everything she wants...needs and deserves....and only i can give it to her....and i am learning this one day at a time....we have alot to catch up on..... "Now that those dark places are filled with light, my Recovery Grows Strong from the Inside Out. Thanks again for sharing you experience". yes i love your quote....for me it was like a hole emptiness...and everyday...it gets smaller and smaller...and i loved how u said this.....it really gives me hope and understanding..... This is all so new for me....as long as i dont get scared...and run...i am ok....i have to believe....and truly know...that this is where God wants me to be.....and i am embracing it today instead of running from it.....and yes it does feel wonderful.........i have found that it will last as long as the addiction is put down.....and everyday it is....it will last...and it goes deeper and deeper.....Sun |
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sunflwrs4evr
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Post by sunflwrs4evr on Aug 11, 2013 14:52:22 GMT -8
Just wanted to add that the I have been working with my inner child since the bf is no more in my life.....and i feel absolutely wonderful...I went out with my girlfriend on saturday and i could feel that my inner suzy wanted a gift..so i stopped in the another store and bought a Cinderella with snow white on this pillow...i love it i held onto it so tightly..working around the mall...lol....i am sleeping with it...and i even bring it in my car with me to help with my back...I feel like a miracle has happened...
It seems and if I had the bf in my life too ...well in my life it was a fantasy that he could do what only God and I can do ....omg i cant believe i just said that....however it is the absolute truth...my truth...from the core of my being....omg this feels so awesome...
It seems that the fantasy has been lifted and i know the truth and i want the truth ...i have also been focused on being in the present moment......wow...i love me and my inner child....thanks everyone so much............it feels so good to share with people that understand and have been through this too...Sun:)
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Post by Jacarandagirl on Aug 12, 2013 11:56:03 GMT -8
Glad you are enjoying your wonderful self Sun. Life is like a whole new experience with self love, isn't it? I can't believe I survived so long with so little. I'm happy to read you are loving you.
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Post by Loveanimals on Aug 12, 2013 22:19:30 GMT -8
Great news Sun! Yes it is important to spend time with our family and female friends! They tend to get neglected during our addiction.
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Post by sunflwrs4evr on Aug 13, 2013 20:21:12 GMT -8
Jac...Its great to hear from you again...It is a miracle...It feels as if I was that little girl again growing up....Not sure exactly what that truly is or how it exactly happened....I just know that this time I get to relive my childhood my way and I will love me and do things for me that know one else has especially my parents...They were not well and they wanted they wanted.... This time is so very different...I remember when i use to say that about every potential partner...a big lol...its all true... I was struggle alittle the past couple of days with eating healthy foods...i used my tools of recovery and I am back on track thank God... I actually had the best night in probably ever....I went to a store that has arts and crafts and i purchased some things to fix a pair of my favorite ear rings...than i took a hot bathe in lavender epson salts...and then i did my nails, i did a clear base coat and added some cute little pink white and maroon flower stickers....and watching a couple of tv shows.. instead of being online looking in the wrong places for men....even just to have conversation.....in all the wrong places.... I found where i need to be and that is with me and my hp.... Loveanimals...Oh boy did i know that neglectfulness...if that is such a word...,my inner child wants to say it....lol.....Its sad but true....i have neglected eveyone in my life myhp me my family my friends its crazy ....however today...I have changed the denial has lifted off of me....and it better stay clear of me...thats for sure...and thanks so much for your hope experience and strength....i really need to hear it all....Sun |
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