Post by lacypooh on Aug 31, 2011 18:10:25 GMT -8
So as I'm becoming more confident and comfortable enough to wear cute clothes, get my hair done, even lost some lbs...I am started to get back to attracting the opposite sex more frequently. Before when I was really attracting men I almost couldn't contain myself, always on the go looking for the next one " who's going to approach me next," it became like a game I played with myself and each day I'd try to beat yesterday's tally...sad I know....
But after going through a period of basically holding my head down when I walked not thinking anyone would approach me, I am starting to feel that old overtly excited feeling where almost nothing else matters. Hard to concentrate when a guy is around especially if I have seen him check me out...that really gets me going! But I plan to continue taking care of myself and feeling good but how do I feel good about myself without constantly living in anticipation of the next cute guy to pay me some attention?
Is this the addiction? Because I don't feel normal right now. I try to tell myself not to focus on it, or not to expect it, but it's like something else takes over and I find myself watching every attractive man and waiting to see if he checks me out and it happens everywhere...even church.
I think I went to Bible study tonight just to see which guys were going to notice this new more daring me.....I waited an hour before leaving home because i wanted to get my head in the right mind frame, but even though i told myself i went to church tonight for the tight reasons, when I got there, I found myself incredibly distracted and looking for one guy in particular. A guy who had known me and has always been nice, but never seen me like this, hair done, make up done, cute clothes, etc...i really wanted to shine.....so it feels like im going from one extreme( completely wanting to disappear) to HEY , LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT ME.....
Ughhh...I need balance!
But after going through a period of basically holding my head down when I walked not thinking anyone would approach me, I am starting to feel that old overtly excited feeling where almost nothing else matters. Hard to concentrate when a guy is around especially if I have seen him check me out...that really gets me going! But I plan to continue taking care of myself and feeling good but how do I feel good about myself without constantly living in anticipation of the next cute guy to pay me some attention?
Is this the addiction? Because I don't feel normal right now. I try to tell myself not to focus on it, or not to expect it, but it's like something else takes over and I find myself watching every attractive man and waiting to see if he checks me out and it happens everywhere...even church.
I think I went to Bible study tonight just to see which guys were going to notice this new more daring me.....I waited an hour before leaving home because i wanted to get my head in the right mind frame, but even though i told myself i went to church tonight for the tight reasons, when I got there, I found myself incredibly distracted and looking for one guy in particular. A guy who had known me and has always been nice, but never seen me like this, hair done, make up done, cute clothes, etc...i really wanted to shine.....so it feels like im going from one extreme( completely wanting to disappear) to HEY , LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT ME.....
Ughhh...I need balance!