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Post by emmet72 on Mar 28, 2012 22:36:35 GMT -8
9 weeks NC today. Have i made excuses to break it ? Hell yeah. They all made perfect sense too at the time but lucky for me my switch hitting head goes to Torch bearing mode last in which now a pause exists and in that pause, i know im doing the right thing by me. Id still fear meeting her at meetings but the fact shes over and back from the US hopefully means that by the time id do bump into her it will be easier to process. This website has saved my life as theres no Laa meetings here in this country yet.
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Post by LovelyJune on Mar 29, 2012 3:34:20 GMT -8
Awesome, emmet! Keep up the great work on NC. NC is a gift you give YOURSELF. It shows how important you are.
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Post by overcomer on Mar 29, 2012 4:59:35 GMT -8
Congrats Emmet72! NC really works. I got my recovery from my HP and this forum alone. No less, no more.  |
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Post by emmet72 on Mar 29, 2012 22:32:14 GMT -8
:)Thanks you guys. Have a great day!
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Post by herenow on Mar 30, 2012 2:04:41 GMT -8
congrats emmet, 9 weeks!! Terrific!!
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Post by jphcbpa on Apr 13, 2012 7:54:24 GMT -8
checking in on you
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Post by emmet72 on Apr 14, 2012 15:49:26 GMT -8
Hey thanks, am good,getting better. I still have the odd wobbly day. But the insights ive got from this site are what my my recovery have been missing for 14yrs. As LJ said NC is a gift i give myself and also helps combat any codependent notions. I still think and get lonely and think of my POA but feelings are not as intense and i realise howmuch i short changed myself in most of my relationships. But NC is about me and not any POA. It is nice to feel i dont need a relationship or have a desire to fill the void when it comes up with anyone else but HP and my choices.
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Post by herenow on Apr 19, 2012 14:40:13 GMT -8
emmet
i love what you express, that is how NC felt to me, or feels to me I guess. for me it has felt sublime much of the time to just explore who I am and what I am about. I too have wobbles as you say, in fact I heard about a month ago my POA had moved on (I did not solicit this info it was given to me without my permission so to speak) and that has caused some obsession to arise, but mostly life is sweet and good and filled with new discoveries.
Keep up your recovery!
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Post by emmet72 on Apr 19, 2012 23:46:49 GMT -8
Thanks Diane17, 13wks and counting, This forum is amazing and ive been divinely guided to it. I suppose my recovery here reminds me to a degree of aa early sobriety as certain people places and things trigger my obsessing. I also find since i found alanon i could explore and grieve, not to busy myself avoiding by doing. Today im trying to get my work situation/finances in order as im finding that tough. But ive noticed when im struggling i dont think of my drug (poa) as much. Having said that its easier for me in ways as she is in the US greiving the death of her ex husband whom i dont believe she was ever his ex (i hate you dont leave me etc) But yes just for today my torch is a flicker and not an olympic blaze. Checking in here daily has saved my life even if its just to keep reading .
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Post by Jacarandagirl on Apr 20, 2012 4:38:51 GMT -8
Ha ha -torch a flicker not an olympic blaze- yeah. It's like that!
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