|
|
Post by brainhealth on May 20, 2012 16:52:02 GMT -8
Folks,
This tower of strength is being bullied and harrassed at work and the organisation have made it clear to me that they intend to "get Me". They are viscious, they play by no rules, and they play dirty tricks. I am in the process of whistleblowing them to the regulator and for the first time in a long time, just today, the stress has got to me, so much so that suicidal thoughts came to me today.
I have worked for this organisation for over 25 years and I have done nothing wrong - I am just on the wrong salary and not meeting their non negotiable sales targets within a compliance framework which casts a cold eye on targets given that the organisation is required to act in the best interests of its customers.
Right now, my self esteem is very low, and this has happened today. I need some help to build my confidence and esteem up again. Since my great success with my ex poa, I really have no one to contact and get reassurance from. I hope someone out there can inspire me right now. Really sorry for burdening you guys on this non la issue but I need help.
Brainhealth
|
|
|
|
Post by Chosen on May 20, 2012 17:33:26 GMT -8
Brainhealth, that's really disheartening. I'm sorry for that terrible situation you are facing there. My heart goes to you. I know how it feels to be at the bottom and to be unfairly treated or falsely accused. I'll pray for you now. You are loved. God loves you. You are not alone. This too shall pass. You are here for a purpose.
|
|
|
|
Post by Loving My Life on May 20, 2012 17:50:05 GMT -8
brainhealth, i am sorry you are going thru this on your job.
Now suicide is not a option here, you have people in your life who need you and who love you. Is there any higher ups in your company who you can talk to about what is going on? I know when you have been with a company that long, people can rub you the wrong way. I am not sure if this helps you any, but we need you on this forum also.
I will say a prayer for you as well.
Hang in there.
|
|
|
|
Post by brainhealth on May 20, 2012 18:05:12 GMT -8
Chosen and Carolyn,
thank you for the prayers. Unfortunately carolyn, it's a bank which is owned by a government because of the lax lending policies the bank had and theyn are cutting back every way they can. A friend of mine for over 20 years has described the oppression and bullying of individuals as akin to a concentration camp. They are out to fire me despite the fact that I only received word on 30th March this year that I had won my appeal for 2010!!!!! They were furious and have redoubled their efforts against me because they have lost face. Iam about to wihistleblow them to the regulator and my letter is currently being professionally proof read and edited as I type this. Thank you noth for your kind words. I have taken a zanex (one only) and I'm feeling drousy now so Ill see if I can finally get to sleep. Thanks
|
|
|
|
Post by bklynrn on May 20, 2012 18:19:58 GMT -8
Brainhealth--so sorry you're going through this. You're not burdening us... suicide is never a way out but I do understand how upsetting it is to have people turning against you..hang in there. When the emotions settle a bit maybe think about writting out your grievances or if there is anything you can do legally to protect yourself
|
|
|
|
Post by brainhealth on May 21, 2012 9:09:06 GMT -8
Thank you some much for your prayers everyone. In spite of what i have said about the (unmentionable) subject, I actually do believe in the power of prayer. I have submitted 6 separate grievances against the bank, and four named individuals in draft form to my union in this connection today. Really appreciate everyone's responses.
Brain
|
|
foolmetwice
Full Member
"A star danced, and under that was I born." Shakespeare
Posts: 196
|
Post by foolmetwice on May 21, 2012 20:37:18 GMT -8
Brain,
Your work is not your life.
|
|
|
|
Post by brainhealth on May 21, 2012 22:49:41 GMT -8
foolmetwice,
Thanks for reminding me of this. You are 100% correct. But, they do pay my bills- that essentially is the hold they have over you.
Brain
|
|
|
|
Post by wahinewha on May 22, 2012 1:39:52 GMT -8
Bainhealth, it sux that you have to be going through this sort of corporate rubbish. I have been there myself and although I do not know your circumstances, in the Casino life style it can be very dog eat dog.
To stay in a position for 25 years is not advisable definitly, I was in one for 15 years and the stress took me down severly, you have to ask yourself is it worth it? Health? Low self esteem? And recovery from the POA on top of it?
You are not a failure if you descide to leave. As long as you have a good friend to be your referee, it will be o.k.
Blessings
|
|
|
|
Post by Chosen on May 22, 2012 3:45:48 GMT -8
Brainhealth, I'm glad that you are feeling better and taking action.
What is your plan B? Do you have other option in place, in case it's time for you to move to the next chapter of your life?
I have a friend who was in similar position you are in now and 'though it was hard she has came to accept that things have its endings.
Who knows this can be your turning point? How about having your own business?
|
|
|
|
Post by Jacarandagirl on May 22, 2012 4:51:31 GMT -8
Hang in there. Life is worth it if you can find yourself in all the stress. Why don't you try making a list of the good things you are doing in your life right now, or in the past, and the good attributes you have? This will help with your self esteem. If you do make a list here, just one hint with it- the things you write must all be true.
xxjgirl
|
|
|
|
Post by brainhealth on May 22, 2012 9:22:29 GMT -8
Hi all,
Head's in a much better place now. Thank you all for your help.
Some interesting posts.
chosen: I actually do have a plan B. I have set up my own window cleaning business and am putting it together slowly. I also finished my masters 2 years ago and I am looking to take up lecturing again on a part-time basis. I also have made contacts within the life assurance industry to operate on a self employed basis. I am very busy on the ground.
Since I took up the window cleaning and have succeeded in getting it up and running, my marriage has ironically improved - my wife keeps saying to me "I admire you". She never used to say things like this. I have every reason to have great self esteem because I have done some much self-development work over the last 5 years plus I have stopped acquiring new POA's (I'm a tourch bearer) and I'm prectically over my current POA. Yes, I have a lot to be grateful and confident about. Now and again though, there are little gaps in my corporate veil and i seem to fall hook line and sinker through that gap. Jacarandagirl - I think this is probebly the list you would have suggested.
Wah:- yes it is a long time to stay - but when you are raising a family you gotta compromise a few things for security - 2 outof three birds are now out of the nest and off the cost centre. One left and he is 16 years old.
There is a redundancy package on offer - I have expressed an interest-so perhaps it's a good time to look at expanding and developing new pastures.
|
|
|
|
Post by Loving My Life on May 22, 2012 10:50:08 GMT -8
brain, i am glad too hear you are feeling better, we are creatures of habit, so maybe you would feel better with your window cleaning business, and your other endeavors. it is the fear of the unknown. You do seem to have your ducks in a row, so good job. Hang in there.
|
|
|
|
Post by Chosen on May 23, 2012 13:06:10 GMT -8
Brainhealth, while I was reading this I remember your situation.
The Detached Role
Love must be sincere. Hate what is toxic; cling to what is good. - Romans 12:9
Tom’s a clerk in a hectic government office. In the midst of all the daily pressures, he’s regarded as one of the most even-tempered workers in the department. He’s quiet, efficient, and never seems to get riled at his impatient coworkers or those visiting his office.
Tom spends his energy herding his emotions because he feels they’re his enemy. Deep inside he believes that his father didn’t like him as a boy because he was too much of a crybaby and a “fraidy-cat.” Since he perceives that he lost his father by being too much of a sissy, Tom isn’t about to expose his emotions as an adult. His controlled emotional detachment also keeps him aloof from his wife. In the past, whenever Tom showed any signs of being troubled, angry, or fearful, she’d ask him what was wrong. But his usual response was a curt, “Nothing!” So, she learned not to ask.
Detached people like Tom find it difficult to live out the values they profess because they ignore their heart, which is the center from which values come. Often a detached person will become addicted to work, money, football, alcohol, or drugs.
Are you like Tom? Do you stuff your sense of defeat inside, thinking you should be able to “take it?” Are you emotionally frozen? Perhaps you’re so dead inside you have little to give a relation-ship. Is your spouse enduring a frustrating relationship because you insist on suffering your losses alone? You can change. Start by connecting with others. Find a safe person that you can talk to. We were meant for connection, not detachment!
“Never shall I forget the days I spent with you. Continue to be my friend, as you will always find me yours.” -Ludwig Van Beethoven (1770-1827)
|
|
|
|
Post by brainhealth on May 23, 2012 13:54:29 GMT -8
Wow chosen!!! You really do challange! I like to be challanged because it forces me to think.
Am I like Tom? Yes and no. However, i do think there is a Tom in all of us. The fact that we are here on this message board means that a lot of hurt has occurred to us. Most of us I think have lived a life of lies - I mean, who is going to admit to their current partner or wife that they have fallen in love with someone at work? That requires some dishonesty - but it also requires a lot of denial and as you say herding his emotions. If one is trying to keep a marriage together, then, dealing with this issue requires a hell of a lot of detachment, both because of the addiction issue, and because of the realisation that you have fallen in love with an "unavailable person", often with no reciprocation. There is a lot of defeat building up inside over the years. Add to this the bitterness of rejection and of being used when the POA wants to dump on you and you can become addicted to a number of things.
To a large extent I have survived this. I am definately coming out the other end in a very positive way. However, I do realise that I have been damaged, certainly my brain chemistry is !@#$%*d up big time. But, all the different things that I have done are beginning to come to fruition (The cd's from learning strategies corporation and Holysync, Yoga, Qi Gong, acupuncture, SAD lights, EFT (emotional freedom technique), window cleaning and this wonderful message board).
Yes, I can see Tom in me, but I have not allowed Tom to stagnate in me. I am moving on. The sign for this is that I can tackle head on the problems in work slowley, deliberately and strategically, except for a few hiccups along he way like earlier in the week.
As for friendship, all I can say is this. if I was to depend on my friends to motivate me, I would be in the gutter now. Ironically, my current POA, has been one of my closest friends for years. There are very few things I have not shared with her. It started as a friendship. It may still end up as a friendship. But, my priority is on my own mental health. If that means that I have little or no contact with her , so be it. It does not concern me as much as it used to. I don't suffer the anxiety attacks anymore.
There are a couple of safe people I have talked with from time to time. But no one likes dumping. I stopped dumping on my POA 5 years ago. I dont dump on anyone else. Self containment means no committment means total independence.
Brain
|
|
|
|
Post by lacypooh on May 23, 2012 14:47:27 GMT -8
Brainhealth,
I rarely come here these days, I came today to post a vent of my own and then I saw your title and I can relate. Work stress sucks, but it looks like you are finding some comfort from the post I briefly scanned over on this thread. I'm glad so many offered their prayers, I said one of my own for you. Things are often working on our behalf (behind the scenes) even when we can't see it, or it doesn't appear to be getting any better. The people at your job may mean you harm, but sooner than later this whole situation will turn around in your favor, and something good will come of it. Hang in there, ((hugzz)).
|
|
|
|
Post by brainhealth on May 24, 2012 9:09:12 GMT -8
Once again, thank you everyone for your prayers and kindness and indeed your challanges. I think you all know how I feel about the God factor, but, I do believe in the power of prayer. Therefore I do very much appreciate everyone's prayers in this regard. Thank you.
|
|
