Post by LovelyJune on Oct 20, 2011 7:13:32 GMT -8
Here's a challenge for y'all...
So much of our recovery talk, good and bad, is wrapped up in our PoAs and how it applies to our PoA. For example:
"I am really starting to see that my PoA doesn't validate me..."
"My PoA left me a month ago, but my pain is severe"
"I want to focus on myself because I realize my PoA took that away from me"
"It's easy for me to dump my PoA, but then I try to find the love of my life..."
No matter how you talk about your PERSON OF ADDICTION you are perpetuating the addiction. In the beginning, I can understand reflection on who he or she was, and how his or her life affected yours. But eventually, your recovery is all about you, and you have to learn to live without the crutch of the PoA.
Yes, that's everyone's ultimate goal here, to quit their addiction to someone. But let's make it a little more of an action oriented goal rather than something we bring into conversation.
Here's the challenge:
Starting today, and lasting exactly one week (ending the 27 of October, 2011), see if you can avoid mentioning your PoA in all of your posts here in the forum AND (and this is all on you, we can't keep track) avoid talking about him to others in your real life.
Whoa. This is a very difficult challenege for some. But in the end, it will help you to understand the extent to which you really depend on the memory of the PoA, the conversation about the PoA, or the connection to the PoA.
Anyone willing to participate in the challenge, sign up here with a post! We can all help keep eachother stay on track. If you slip, you slip. But keep count of how many times you slip. That too will help you determine how much more effort you need to put into getting the PoA off the brain.
And remember, this is a one-week challenge. It's a goal. If it works for you, keep it going! You are not denying yourself a true, soul searching analysis of yourself and your life by not talking about someone you're addicted to. No alcoholic ever had to talk about the actual liquid in the bottle in order to give himself a full and proper recovery.
So, who's with me?
?
So much of our recovery talk, good and bad, is wrapped up in our PoAs and how it applies to our PoA. For example:
"I am really starting to see that my PoA doesn't validate me..."
"My PoA left me a month ago, but my pain is severe"
"I want to focus on myself because I realize my PoA took that away from me"
"It's easy for me to dump my PoA, but then I try to find the love of my life..."
No matter how you talk about your PERSON OF ADDICTION you are perpetuating the addiction. In the beginning, I can understand reflection on who he or she was, and how his or her life affected yours. But eventually, your recovery is all about you, and you have to learn to live without the crutch of the PoA.
Yes, that's everyone's ultimate goal here, to quit their addiction to someone. But let's make it a little more of an action oriented goal rather than something we bring into conversation.
Here's the challenge:
Starting today, and lasting exactly one week (ending the 27 of October, 2011), see if you can avoid mentioning your PoA in all of your posts here in the forum AND (and this is all on you, we can't keep track) avoid talking about him to others in your real life.
Whoa. This is a very difficult challenege for some. But in the end, it will help you to understand the extent to which you really depend on the memory of the PoA, the conversation about the PoA, or the connection to the PoA.
Anyone willing to participate in the challenge, sign up here with a post! We can all help keep eachother stay on track. If you slip, you slip. But keep count of how many times you slip. That too will help you determine how much more effort you need to put into getting the PoA off the brain.
And remember, this is a one-week challenge. It's a goal. If it works for you, keep it going! You are not denying yourself a true, soul searching analysis of yourself and your life by not talking about someone you're addicted to. No alcoholic ever had to talk about the actual liquid in the bottle in order to give himself a full and proper recovery.
So, who's with me?
?
