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Post by Jacarandagirl on Oct 23, 2011 3:44:41 GMT -8
Last night I had my first "red flag" dream. A man came to me for counselling (I was filling in for someone) and I was immediately attracted to him. I sat close to him and then swivelled around so I was almost in his lap. I was flirting hard and had the thought I was being a little bit inappropriate considering he had come to me for counselling (YEAH, RIGHT!). Later on we were hanging out together and I noticed he was very self-absorbed. He hardly related to me personally at all. I could see he was avoidant or possibly narcissistic. I took a step back and my feelings for him in the dream changed from attracted to wary.
Even though I had some red flags of my own I'm heartened to get to practise this in my dreams!
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Post by LovelyJune on Oct 23, 2011 5:39:05 GMT -8
jgirl, this is a very cool dream, especially considering your take on it. But again-- you are focusing outside yourself. Who are you when you are not confronted with a man? part of this challenge is not only avoiding talk of your 'person who shall not be named,' but your relationship with all people you see in a romantic, sexual or addictive sense. The challege is, What are you capable of thinking of and talking about with the absence of, in your case, MEN.
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Post by Loving My Life on Oct 23, 2011 6:04:50 GMT -8
i have made it another day without much thought of my addiction...ive been to busy with taking care of me. ive cleaned my house, put up some of my fall decor, love decorating my house for the holidays, and as always still working with the other women getting our conference together, (11/5) looking forward to this. and resting. so thanks for the challenge, i love a challenge.. oh i got a txt from a old friend yesterday, have not heard from him in 5 months, he was still hitting on me, but i handled him totally different, thanks to what ive learned since being on this forum, he was flirting, and i told him again that i was not interested in him for s**, i could see so plainly him trying to sway me to come and see him, i told him I was in remission, i did not need a man at this moment in my life. I can take care of my own wants & needs. so ive took a few suggestions, and im taken the actions, and it does work. so i will keep coming back. Live N Let Live.... ;-o
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Post by Light on Oct 23, 2011 9:31:35 GMT -8
I'm in!!! Late but in.
Actually I haven't talked about that thing for many months, I've been able to avoid the topic and it was very easy sometimes.
I love this LJ:
"Nothing can exist unless you have given it permission to exist" - This makes me feel my responsability. I'm responsible for what I do. Things don't happen, we make them happen, I made my slip happen and I'm able same way to avoid addictive behavior.
This challenge makes me feel free.
I have the poweeeeeer!
And I'm happy to do it with you all.
hugs,
Light
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Post by LovelyJune on Oct 29, 2011 2:16:36 GMT -8
Well, it's a week later....How do y'all think you did with the challenge? I saw a few slips. I even drew attention to some of them. I slipped myself and didn't even realize it until after I re-read what I wrote. Doh.
The point of this is to CONTINUE the challenge. You are being far more resourceful when you think of other things to talk about. Like my mother always said, "It's easy to curse and say bad words; it's far more difficult to say what you mean without them."
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Post by nvr2late on Oct 29, 2011 6:27:15 GMT -8
I broke it one day short, but really wanted to share...so...onward and upward!
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Post by sunflwrs4evr on Oct 29, 2011 7:59:20 GMT -8
i didnt realize how hard this was to do.....i've had pings....family asking questions....wow....lots of situations where it comes up...and so easy to just go there....i love a challenge...
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Post by Loving My Life on Oct 29, 2011 8:15:22 GMT -8
LJ, thx for the challenge, did not think too much about him, and i believe this chapter in my life is finally over, i was reflecting this morning on it all, n it feel like i was in a relationship with a ghost, (since it was just over the phone), and it was unrequited love, (all in my head), just full of fantasy, and nothingness. it just seems so crazy now, this is recovery, we are kind of insane, before we reach out for help. so thanks everyone for guiding me through this maze of insanity, and too making my way back too reality. it works if you work it. ;-)
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Post by Herenow on Oct 29, 2011 9:31:42 GMT -8
Good for you Carolyn. I know for me the more "sober" I am the more insane I was, y'know! Keep working it! Big hugs
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Post by Loving My Life on Oct 29, 2011 10:17:05 GMT -8
diane, I know exactly what you mean, i was totally in "love addiction insanity". and dont care to go back there. Big hugs to you too. ;-)
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Post by Jacarandagirl on Oct 29, 2011 12:54:25 GMT -8
Hi LJ, The challenge was really interesting. I blew it majorly on several occasions. I get what you mean about it being about the entire topic of "MEN". When other people I know need to talk about their issues with men I also feel this unhealthy spark inside me...the DRUG, ahh, let's talk talk talk about them. Not so much lately. It's getting more uncomfortable than exciting. Luckily for me I am so busy with work and CODA at the mo that I just haven't had the time to engage with the topic very much at all over the last week. It's all about me (yay!) and recovery (yay!). I'm really looking forward to some down time though. Another busy week ahead...
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