Post by Susan Peabody on Jul 14, 2012 13:54:05 GMT -8
Hmmm...I have never heard of the word "dysfunctional" being associated with religion, and my intention was certainly not to be shaming, on any level...but I am sorry that my use of the word toxic triggered you. If anyone else was upset or triggered by my post, I am certainly open to feedback.
Let me clarify my feelings about religion and religious words that trigger me (at the risk of offending some of you).
Me and many of my friends/clients were not raised in homes in which we were taught about how much God cherishes us. We were told how we are going to go to hell if we do not do what we are told, which is all summed up in the phrases, "now be a good little girl," or "stop being a bad little girl." I still choke on the phrase "good little girl." My granddaughter is not a good little girl or a bad little girl. She is a wonderful work in progress. (Actually, she is a sweet little princess sent to me by a loving God.)
The Catholic religion is famous for this point of view, as is pointed out in a book called "Recovering Catholics." I have heard stories of children being shamed by nuns and even abused by corporal punishment. I hope this is just in the past and not currently going on. This did not happen to me but God knows I was terrified of the dtoxic and going to hell if I did not do what I was told.
Some religions also teach us to hate other groups and shun them. I had to leave a church because they were homophobic. I thought Christ loved us but apparently not if I we are gay. My pastor put the words bad, gay and toxic all in the same sentence sometimes.
So religion can bring love and joy and peace, or it can be dysfunctional. I stand behind this word.
The word "toxic" has been used to shame people. My mother, who was raised a Catholic," told me once I was toxic because I did not clean my room.
Also, because of what my mother and the church taught me I am ashamed of my body and afraid to (well let's not even go there). It goes on and on in my opinion. This is why I have chosen spirituality over religion. In my little world there is no hell or Satan, and therefore no force that we can call toxic. Everything is sick or well or just a work in progress.
I hope you understand now why I was triggered by the word toxic and how some churches can be dysfunctional. You are free to believe that I am over-reacting and have become prejudice, but that is what the word trigger means. Some word or sound or scent or sight that releases a very emotional reaction about something that has been residing in your sub-conscious waiting for just the right moment to come out.
I will agree we can't avoid all triggers on this board, and that you are not responsible for my triggers, so if you want me to delete my post I will.
Should we start a new thread on this?