I am a drug addict as well as a love addict. Early in life, it was harder drugs. Cocaine, acid, PCP..anything I could get my hands on. Around 25, I settled on pot. That was 15 years ago.
I have not smoked pot in almost 8 months. This has really brought my issues with love addiction to the surface because I am no longer numbing my brain which helps with denial. Smoking pot was creating extreme anxiety for me. It used to mellow me out, but the past few years it did nothing but make me crazy. I have anxiety not smoking pot..I would smoke a joint and the anxiety would intensify 100 times. It was just not worth it anymore and was not having the desired effect. I do not plan on ever smoking it again. I will be working on this as I work on my recovery from love addiction.
I am also addicted to nicotine. I have quit for extended periods of time. I want to quit again. and stay quit. I participated in online nicotine anonymous meetings during past quits. Stopped participating..and started smoking again. I plan on going to meetings again. and I plan on quitting again. Not sure when. My current POA is a smoker, so I expect it will be when I have spent some time without him. I am not there yet, but I will be someday.
Alcohol addict here, been in recovery for a months now, and so far so good. I hope all of you guys who are currently dealing with their addiction will not lose hope and give up. there is always cure out there, just don't give up and build up yout motivation.
I am grateful to God that I have gotten into sports since I was a kid and so I never had any interest in drugs, alcohol, smoking pot or cigarette. (But unfortunately, drugs have ruined some of my relatives to the point of insanity for many years before they changed course and became spiritual.) In addition, early on Madonna had indirectly helped me to stay away from it when she had spoken against it. (How it could damage one's brain, that she'd rather keep her brain well-functioning than take it, etc.)
Your recovery is worth the pain of your withdrawal. Remember that "the pain you feel today will be the strength you feel tomorrow." Fantasy-based relationship is a lie. Face your reality and stay well!Kind Regards to all LAA members here, - Codepnomore
I dated a guy many years ago who was an alcoholic and drug addict for most of his teen and adult years. When I met him he'd been clean and sober for about a year. The thing that struck me about this guy though, was that emotionally, he acted like a child. And that's when I realized, all those years of numbing and avoiding real life, he had stunted his growth. He never learned how to respond to difficult situations from the healthy perspective of an adult because he always avoided learning. He chose to stay out-of-loop. So, now at the age of 45, he has the emotional response of a 15-year-old. How tragic.
I have another friend who has been a lifelong pot smoker. They say pot causes no damage. Bah! She used to be a vibrant, funny, quick witted, HAPPY individual. A lifetime of smoking pot, however, has destroyed her ability to FEEL. And while she doesn't feel much pain, she doesn't feel much happiness either. She's fried. And worse yet, because she has lost her capacity to feel and relate to people and situations in a healthy way, she has also lost her ability to think logically about the world. In her mind, pot isn't the problem, the conspiracy of those in power are the problem. And when I ask her what she plans to do to fight against that, her response is, "you can't fight that." SO, in her mind, she's even cleverly chosen to blame an institution that cannot even be fought or challenged. This ends up fitting perfectly into her world view of not doing ANYTHING to change who she is.
Drugs change your ability to reason. They desensitize your capacity to feel. They render you unable to get out of the hole you put yourself in. The only way out of this powerfully imprisoning state, according to the laws of thermodynamics, is with a force GREATER THAN the force of the addiction. Not many people possess that force. But for those that do, pat yourself on the back and don't ever give up.