Post by brokentoy on Sept 18, 2009 8:56:43 GMT -8
So, it's been a couple of weeks now since my POA (who is also, alas, my future-ex-husband's best friend) took ten steps back. Haven't seen him in 17 days (but who's counting?) 
This is significant, because our little group of family & friends have a longstanding ritual. We gather every Friday, come hell or highwater, rain or shine, for dinner and games and conversation and hot-tubbing (weather permitting). We call it Church.
POA opted out of Church for the last two weeks in a row--something he's never, ever done before. Not in two, two-and-a-half years.
He has confirmed for tonight, but there's a part of me that thinks he may very well bug out again. If he does show, I think it'll just be the three of us this evening. The little broken triangle.
I am fighting with conflicting emotions. I know that my POA and I are NOT "right" for each other in ANY way. We are a hot, flaming, toxic combination. Like fire and ouzo. And so in a way I am grateful to him for the distance he's put between us. On the other hand, I do still have feelings for him. Can't shut those off overnight.
What I can do is to be a good girl tonight, cook for and play with the boys the way I used to for the past five years, and that's that. Nothing else.
We can all play Rock Band together. And stop it there.
I can do this.
This is significant, because our little group of family & friends have a longstanding ritual. We gather every Friday, come hell or highwater, rain or shine, for dinner and games and conversation and hot-tubbing (weather permitting). We call it Church.
POA opted out of Church for the last two weeks in a row--something he's never, ever done before. Not in two, two-and-a-half years.
He has confirmed for tonight, but there's a part of me that thinks he may very well bug out again. If he does show, I think it'll just be the three of us this evening. The little broken triangle.
I am fighting with conflicting emotions. I know that my POA and I are NOT "right" for each other in ANY way. We are a hot, flaming, toxic combination. Like fire and ouzo. And so in a way I am grateful to him for the distance he's put between us. On the other hand, I do still have feelings for him. Can't shut those off overnight.
What I can do is to be a good girl tonight, cook for and play with the boys the way I used to for the past five years, and that's that. Nothing else.
We can all play Rock Band together. And stop it there.
I can do this.