At the core of all addictions is SHAME. If we(myself included) don't become aware of the shame we hold and begin to see how it affects every aspect of our lives and how we interact with people then the cycle will continue. Most religions, cultures and family dynamics are based in shame. Shame differs from guilt. Guilt is actually more constructive, as this article describes. EMPATHY washes away shame. Can some of us begin to come outside ourselves and be empathetic for others to remove the shame from the core of ourselves? Compassion for ourselves and others also allows for a new phase of recovery...we need that. It allows us to connect with others and I know I always want to remain empathetic and compassionate for others..it's part of who i am.
I think this is what I'm going to practice with my own mother...empathy. The cycle her and I have going on is not what I want and I need to step above this and find out her story. No agenda for myself but to simply be at peace. My therapist did tell me that hearing her story would be healing for me. It didn't make sense at first but I'm feeling it differently now. What I do for a living as a nurse needs to be applied to my mom too--as difficult as it is because she's sooooo difficult sometimes.
I passed the TED links before but posting it again. I really love this woman, Brene Brown. She's great!!